


Promises

by HiddenTrekker



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Endgame, F/M, Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-11 17:31:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10470339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenTrekker/pseuds/HiddenTrekker
Summary: Didn't like the way some things were done in Endgame... so I decided to write my own.Its my 1st FanFic so please be nice however any comments on how to make it better would be appreciated.





	1. Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> This starts from the arrival of Admiral Janeway.

He stared in to those blue eyes he had seen everyday for the last 7 years, although older and a wash with pain that was left unsaid, they were still her eyes.   
  
"I didn't just come back to get you all home earlier than I did, there are other reasons I came back" Admiral Janeway spoke softly, nursing a cup of coffee that her younger self had left her with in the mess hall

"What other reasons did you have, seems you have risked a lot, and although we all appreciate that you are planning on getting us home in the next few days, I thought there was something you weren't telling us" Chakotay replied, his voice asking the question with out saying the words.  _Its me, you... us isn't it?_

Admiral Janeway turned to face the mess hall windows, staring out of the window, wondering how to answer his question without giving him too much of a push... or breaking too many of the temporal prime directive. Her head hurt at the thought of it, although that could have been the caffine in her system after 15 years without it. Why did she ever give that vice up?

"Do you remember the legend you told me on New Earth?" She asked,  _maybe thats the best way to start, with the past_

His breath hitched, Chakotay knew where this was going.

"Yes, the angry warrior and the strong female leader" He sighed " I have always stood by her... you, even when things have been tough" 

"You have... until now" Her voice was thick with unshed tears

"What do you mean Kathryn?" 

"I remember around now, in my timeline anyway, was when the gossip about you and a certain blonde started. Do you think that she doesn't hear them to? That she doesn't see you two together and those little looks that you used to give her now going else where?" A tear rolled down the Admirals cheek, she brushed it away sharply, angry that her emotions were getting the best of her. She turned to look at her former commander again

"She is someone that I thought of as a daughter, helped to gain her humanity back and find herself again. Now the man that I...I...  _relied_ on for everything this whole journey is with her, I have been replaced by her" Tears flowed freely down her cheeks now, the Admiral was unable to stop them

Chakotay stood up and closed the gap between them in a few short steps, wanting to fold the older Kathryn in to his arms and comfort her but something stopped him. He saw the look of hurt in her eyes and froze to the spot. 

It was a look that she last had when she was on the edge after the Equinnox and Captain Ransom.

"I never realised that even now, after everything that has happened since New Earth that you...she... still feels that way" He stuttered. " I have to go, thank you Admiral for your frankness with me. It's good to know that even in the later years you are still as frank as ever" He reached up and wiped the tears from her cheek, noticing how the Admiral turned her face in to his palm briefly.  _Maybe there was still something there... just maybe_


	2. Seven

Chakotay left the mess hall, his head swirling from the confession that Admiral Janeway had made. 

Could his Kathryn really still feel this way, even now? Things hadn't been great between them since the Borg alliance and the Equinnox incident. She had been distant, overly professional, yes they still had thier dinners every now and then but the conversation always felt rigid and formal, mainly work topics... safe things to discuss instead of the closeness they had enjoyed, especially after New Earth. She had changed, but then so had he... hadn't he?

 

Chakotay taped his comm badge " Computer locate Captain Janeway"

**Captain Janeway is in her quaters**

"Is she alone?"

**Affermative**

Good he could at least speak to her privately and in an informal setting, then he had an idea

"Chakotay to Captain Janeway"

_Janeway here Commander_

"Kathryn, what are your plans for dinner this evening, I was hoping we could get together and discuss everything that is going on, it has been quite a week after all"

_Umm... Yes OK, would be nice to have a sounding board I guess_

He let out the breath he didn't realise that he was holding "Excellent, how does 1900 suit you?"

_Perfectly, are you cooking, my replicator and I are having a disagreement again_

He smiled, there was the Kathryn he knew " Well if you didn't call it a glorified toaster it might help. Yes I will cook, see you in my quarters at 1900"

_OK, See you then, I will bring the wine. Janeway out_

 

That gave Chakotay time to see one other person before his much needed conversation with Kathryn, after all the Admiral mentioned another member of the crew specifically to him hadn't she

 

"Computer locate Seven of Nine"

**Seven of Nine is in Cargo bay 2**

Of course she was, if she wasn't there then it would have been Astrometrics. She never strayed far from routine and rarely interacted with the crew, prefering solitude over small talk.

Chakotay entered the Carbo Bay, half expecting her to be regenerating in her algove, however he found the ice blonde ex-drone standing at her console entering data. She heard the doors open and turned, seeing that it was Chakotay her face broke out in her half smile, one reserved just for him. His resolve nearly left him then, but Seven's smile wasn't giving him the same tingle down his spine as Kathryn's did.  
"Commander, did we have a meeting?" Seven asked in her usual tone

"No, I just wanted to speak to you about something, do you have time or do you need to regenerate?" He tried to keep his tone light and casual

"I am available to speak, I do not need to regenerate at this time" Borg like as always

Chakotay took a breath and decided where to start this converation, knowing how it needed to end before he saw his dinner guest

"I was wondering if you have spoken to Admiral Janeway since she arrived on board?" This seemed like a good place to start, after all it was thier discussion that had lead Chakotay here

"I have as a matter of fact, she shared with me some... difficult details about my life in her timeline. They were... uncomfortable to hear" Seven seemed unnerved, something that was not seen very often

"What did she tell you Seven?" Maybe he didn't need to have a difficult conversation after all he thought

"That I don't make it back to Earth, and... and... it is not easy for members of the crew to deal with" 

"By that you mean me" Chakotay stepped closer to her

"Yes, you and the Captain were both mentioned" A tear threatened to fall from her one human eye

"What do you want to do about the information she gave you?" Chakotay didn't like seeing her hurting, even though he was about to hurt her more perhaps.

"I am uncertain. Since the Admiral is here then that timeline no longer exists however I do not want to be the cause of pain to yourself or Captain Janeway in the future." She looked up at him, hoping he could give her the answer that she was looking for

"She spoke to me as well, Seven, not about us directly but things in general, I wanted to speak to you about it, although it sounds like she gave you more information than she gave me" He knew he was lying in a way to her, after all the Admiral had given him all the information he needed just not about what happened to Seven in her timeline.

"I am uncertain how to proceed with this relationship between you and me if it will ultimately cause you and the Captain pain" Seven paused "Perhaps it is best to end it here and save any future pain, maybe once we are back on Earth things will be differant and we could re-evaluate our relationship then?" 

"That sounds like a good idea Seven, we should take a step back from this... relationship" Was it even really a relationship, they had a couple of dates and a kiss or two but nothing that would really say relationship to him. 

"Well, I had better get back to this data, Commander, unless there is anthing else I can assist you with?" Seven was back to business as usual as if nothing had happened. She didn't want to show him that her borg hardened heart was breaking a little

"No there was nothing else, I will see you tomorrow morning for the briefing, it is going to be a busy couple of weeks" Chakotay was glad to be out of there, he felt like he had ended something that hadn't really started.

Now he wanted to re-start something that shouldn't have stopped in the first place... damned protocols and perameters. He headed off to his quarters to change and start dinner, he wanted this evening to be relaxed and like the old days, before everything started to go wrong for him and his Kathryn.


	3. Dinner

1800: Captains Quarters

Kathryn was puzzled by Chakotay's sudden invite to dinner, it had been a couple of months since the last one and that had been... awkward to say the least. Long gone were the easy silences between them, the light touches of hands and arms, the flirtatious smiles and breathy conversations. She missed them... missed him. He was the closest person to her on the ship, she relied on him for support and sanity when things were going crazy or she was going down a dark path like in the Void. 

Unsure of what Chakotay was preparing tonight she decided to replicate a bottle of red and white wine, praying her replicator was nice to her this time round. She had called the replicator a 'glorified toaster' once, and it had held a grudge ever since, constantly burning her dinners and giving her cold or even worse lukewarm coffee! More than once she had thought about getting it swapped out with one of the replicators from a guest quarters or even an unused crewmans quarters, but she could never bring herself to ask B'Lanna to actually do it for her as she didn't want any other engineer doing it, just incase they thought she was silly. B'Lanna thought the Captain's 'issues' with the equipment were funny and a source of entertainment when she heard about the latest disaster occuring.

Kathryn had time to change, she didn't want to be in uniform for dinner, the impression Chakotay had given her was that this wasn't a working dinner, more of a dinner with a friend feeling. 

She hoped it wasn't to tell her 'formally' about his relationship with Seven of Nine. Kathryn had heard to rumours and seen the looks exchanged between them... the looks she used to catch him giving her when he thought she wasn't paying attention, but she was. She could always feel his eyes on her, always caring for her and wanting her. Almost as if he only saw Kathryn when everyone else saw Captain Janeway. She wanted to be Kathryn to him all the time but it hadn't been like that for sometime... maybe longer than she thought. She had felt him pulling away since they were in the Void and she had closed herself away from him and the crew, driven in to a deep depression over he choices that had lead them there, her errors. Then there was the alliance with the Borg against species 8472, maybe that was the first blow, even before the Void. After all that had been the first time they had fallen out and butted heads over one of her decisions. The Equinnox had been the breaking point for them though, but still he had bought her back to sanity... after along battle to find herself again, she had almost lost her humanity but he had been the driving force behind her, bringing her back and quietly supporting her.

She shook her head, she didn't want to think about the dark times and almost losing Chakotay, maybe now she had lost him to Seven, maybe he was going to tell her that he was done waiting, done being ignored or stalled because of protocols and the barriers she had put in thier way. 

Kathryn looked in the wardrobe of casual clothing, it was very limited, only a few dresses and some sweats she used for vigerous exercise programmes on the holodeck. She decided to pull on the blue dress, she hadn't worn it since the last day on New Earth, the last time she had felt truly content and at peace. After the plasma storm had destroyed her research equipment and ended all hope of her finding a way off the planet, after Chakotay had told her how he felt thinly veiled under an 'ancient legend' of the Angry Warrior, he had told her that he was her Angry Warrior and he would forever be by his side, which is where, until lately, he had always been she thought. She shed her uniform and placed it in the replicator to recycle and get a fresh one for the morning, and slid the blue dress over her head. It hung over her hips losely, she had lost weight since the last time she wore it, smiling she decided to replicate a belt to give it some shape, she opted for a chocolate brown, similar to Chakotay's Marquis uniform colour that he had worn the first time he had appeared on her bridge. Was that when she fell for him? Or was that just lust when she looked in to his deep brown eyes? Had love come later? Without her realising until it was too late? 

**The time is 1900** the computer reminded her, she knew she would get lost in thought while getting ready.

Quickly Kathryn refreshed her makeup and ran a brush through her hair, sweeping by the table to collect the wine as she made her way to the door. Chakotay's quarters were only next door so at least she wouldn't be late, one thing she hated more than anything was lateness.

Steadying herself at this door with a deep breath she pressed the door chime and waited.

_Come in Kathryn_

The doors slid open revealing the commanders quarters in a low light with candles stratigically placed around to give a comfortable glow. Kathryn stepped in.

"The place looks... wonderful" was all she could say

Chakotay smiled, it sent a shiver down Kathryn's spine as it always did, that lazy sexy smile of his got her every time.

"I'm glad you came, it has been too long" He stepped forward taking the bottles from her

"I didn't know what you were cooking so I thought one of each would be a safe bet" She said, feeling theneed to explain herself and the 2 bottles of wine

"I didn't either when I invited you, so its a good idea" He smiled again " I made spinach and butternut squash cannaloni with a feta sauce, I remember it being a favourite of yours, then we have a chocolate fondant for after, if you have room that is" 

"Sounds wonderful Chakotay" She half smiled at him, reminded how thoughtful he was towards her needs rather than his own, he wasn't a fan of chocolate after all, but it was one of her weaknesses other than coffee. 

Her smile made Chakotay happy, maybe the Admiral had been right, his Kathryn wasn't lost to him after all. After this dinner maybe he would know.

They sat down at the table, slipping in to thier usual places. Chakotay poured the wine in to thier wine glasses and served out thier food. 

"Kathryn, have you spoken much to the Admiral since she arrived, I mean about things other than her plan to get us home through the Borg nebula?" Chakotay decided to tackle this head on, taking a leaf out of the Captain Janeway rule book

"Umm... Yes, a little. She didn't tell me a lot but what she did was... umm... was difficult to hear. Why are you asking?" She was suddenly not hungry even though her stomach had been growling at the smell of the food in front of her only moments ago.  _He is going to tell me about Seven and him now isn't he, I can feel it_

"We were talking in the mess hall earlier and she... clarified a few things for me, things I had forgotten or neglected recently, people I was on the verge of losing" He looked at Kathryn to see if she realised that he was talking about her and her alone

"I have been so wrapped up in attention from else where that I had lost sight of other things" He frowned "I'm not making much sense here am I?" 

Kathryn shook her head "Your talking about Seven of Nine aren't you, your relationship with her" she could feel a lump in her throat threatening her steady voice 

"How did you know I  _was_ in a relationship with her?" Chakotay emphasised the was, hoping it would catch Kathryn's attention

"I have seen the way you look at her" _you used to look at me like that_ "and the way she is like a teenager around you, and yes I have heard to rumours and gossip" The lump was getting bigger and harder to swallow or ignore

"It was... nothing. Kathryn, look at me" Chakotay reached over to try and take her hand but she pulled away and looked up at him

"Then why Chakotay, why her? If it had been anyone else on the ship..." her voice trailed off as the lump made it faulter

"I was flattered by the attention, the feeling of being wanted by someone who..."

"Who could show it and give in to it!" Kathryn was getting passed upset to angry now. She knew thier relationship was strained but she had never stopped loving him and wanting him.

"Yes. I couldn't handle the hiding any longer, especially after everything that has happened, I thought you had turned your back on me and that you didn't see me as anything more than your First Officer anymore, hell I didn't even know if you wanted me as First Officer for a while Kathryn" Chakotay voiced the hurt he had been hiding from her for so long that he hadn't even realised it was still there

"Of course I wanted you as my First Officer, and my friend, I couldn't have done this, any of this, without you" Her voice was low, almost a whisper, tears that had been held back with the hurt of the past few months clouded her eyes

"How was I to know, you never showed it, you just pushed me away. Never letting me get close" He reached out his hand again, this time Kathryn met him halfway across the table, one hand still on her wine glass, the other resting in his warm, slightly rough palm

She took a shuddering breath, and looked at him. She looked at him as if seeing him for the 1st time, the strain of the last years had taken thier toll on him, he wasn't as quick to smile anymore, and his frown lines had gotten deeper, he looked tired and withdrawn.  _I probably look worse to him than that_ she thought absent mindedly

"I didn't want to push you away, I was protecting myself, not realising I was hurting you in the process, can you forgive me Chakotay?" Kathryn was terrified of the answer but the question had to be asked

"Of course, we will get past it, like we always have Kathryn" 

She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes, he knew there was still something she was worried about. Seven of Nine

"As for my relationship with Seven, what exactly have you heard, I want to put it right for you. After all you know how the rumour mill on this ship operates, they have had us sleeping together for years after all." He joked trying to get her to relax again, although he wasn't wrong about the rumours about them, he knew full well there was a betting pool going for when they would finally admit it and get together.

"Oh Chakotay I don't want to go over it all, but I have heard about a picnic in the cargo bay in particular... Neelix told me about the basket he prepared for Seven as he thought it was unusual from her normal suppliments" Kathryn held her breath waiting for the reply

"Yes there was a picnic, it was her idea and strange. We don't really have anything other than work to talk about. It was like an informal meeting, she was more interested in the days briefing than in an actual conversation. Not like you and me" Chakotay smiled at Kathryn trying to put her at ease again. "But it doesn't matter now, we ended things, what little there was anyway, earlier this evening. After my discussion with a certain older lady onboard ship" 

"What little there was?" Kathryn was confused, she had thought there was something deep between Seven and Chakotay, thats how it looked to the rest of the crew at least

"Yes, the whole 3 dates and 2 kisses" He flinched when he saw her eyes grow sad for a second "It was more of a flirtation than anything, Kathryn you know there has only been one woman in this whole quadrant who has my heart" 

Kathryn's eye shot up to meet his, her mind raced with the words she wanted to say but could never speak aloud. She became aware of his thumb running lightly back and forward over her knuckles and fidgetted in her chair. 

"I didn't realise it was so new, I'm sorry I pulled away from you Chakotay, it was childish of me" She was suddenly ashamed of her behaviour. 

Here was a man that had been there for her every choice for the last 7 years and she had stupidly nearly thrown him away because of a flirtation. After all there had been flirtations on her side too, Kashyk, Jaffen and Michael. Perhaps it was who the flirtation was with that had annoyed and upset her more than the flirtation itself. 

"Its over now though Kathryn, the Admiral helped me see I was being an idiot. Seems you never lose that ability with me" 

Kathryn smiled again, this time it reached her eyes "Its a skill you have as well Mister" 

They got up from the table, both leaving the majority of thier meals untouched, but taking thier wine glasses and sat on the sofa under the viewport, one of thier favourite spots regardless of where they were. 

Chakotay layed his arm over the back of the sofa and encouraged Kathryn to lean in to him and rest her head on his chest as they had done many times before, she relaxed in to him, feeling the warmth and strength of his body against hers and melting in to him even more. 

"Do you remember that storm on New Earth?" She asked almost as if to herself

"Of course I do, it was the first time I got to hold you in my arms" Chakotay responded, but closed his eyes against it, realising he had spoken without thinking

Kathryn tapped him lightly on the chest and laughed

"Think you have had enough wine if you are saying things like that" She settled back against him "But you are right, it was the first time. The first time I felt safe in a storm too. I used to hate them growing up, I would hide under the duvet of my bed and shake until it finished" 

"I always want you to feel safe Kathryn, even against natural events" His hand lightly running up and down her arm pulling her closer to his chest

She looked up at his face "I do feel safe with you" 

Chakotay looked down at her, thier lips only inches apart, breath mingling together.  _It wouldn't take much to kiss him now, let him know the truth of how I really feel for him_ Kathryn thought

Chakotay smiled and pressed a kiss to her hairline and shifted his weight and settled back in to the sofa again. He didn't want to be the one to make the first move if it was only going to make her pull away again.

Kathryn sat back up again, and ran her fingers through her hair, tidying the few stray strands that had come lose while she was laying on Chakotay's chest, feeling more comfortable than she had in a while.

"Umm more wine or do you want to eat the chocolate pudding you made" She said, her eyes sparkling with life again, Chakotay shook his head to the pudding knowing full well that she would want both of them as neither of them had touched their main meal. He wasn't hungry for food not either, the feel of Kathryn against his chest had sparked another hunger in him he had thought long dead until this evening.

"No I don't want food anymore Kathryn, but you should eat, you have been living on coffee alone for the last week" 

She smiled at him, appreciating that he had noticed her caffine intake had increased recently, ever since Admiral Janeway had appeared on their viewscreen. The memory of that reminded Kathryn to ask Chakotay exactly what her older self had said to him to make him end his flirtation with Seven.

"She didn't say anything specifically, but then you know that. You always have a way of saying more than you actually say" He smiled

He returned to the sofa carrying the 2 chocolate fondants and 1 spoon, handing them both to Kathryn, who eyed them hungrily

"I am going to miss your cooking when we get home Chakotay" 

"You don't have to you know, after all I know your track record with replicators" he said teasingly, which earned him another playful tap

"Not all, but it is better having a meal cooked rather than materialised for you" Kathryn placed the place on the coffee table in front of her and returned to her previous position on the sofa against Chakotay, letting her hand slide up his thigh. She felt his muscle twitch underneath her palm

"I don't know what I would ever do without you in my life Chakotay, you have always been there, even in the backround" Her hand wandered back down his leg before moving back up again, repeating the movements his hand was doing on her arm. Kathryn turned to look up at him again "My warrior isn't going to leave me when we get home is he?" She sounded worried and scared as she asked.

Instead of answering with words Chakotay leaned down and placed a hand on Kathryn's cheek, stoking his thumb over her cheek bone, hearing her hum in appreciation and nuzzle in to his palm, he wanted so badly to feel her lips on his but he was still a little worried he would be rejected. Almost as if she could read his mind Kathryn turned her face in to his hand kissed his palm and up to the soft spot on his wrist.

"Oh Kathryn" Chakotay whispered, not wanting to break her concentration. She looked up at him again, this time bringing his face down to hers before tentitively taking his face in her hands and lightly running her lips over his. She sighed as he deepened the kiss pulling him closer to her.

Chakotay openned his mouth deepening the kiss even more, his tounge exploring her mouth, tasting the mix of wine and chocolate. Her lips were softer than he could ever have imagined, her hands starting to wander over his body. 

Kathryn allowed her hands to wander over his strong chest, she knew it was but hadn't allowed herself to imagine how it would feel under her hands, she slid them further down his body to where his shirt met his waistband, without a moments thought she pushed her hands under his shirt feeling his bare stomach against her palms. She felt rather than heard him moan at her touch, she couldn't hear anything over her own blood rushing round her body enjoying every detail and feel of the man she had denyed herself for 7 long painful lonely years.

Chakotay broke the kiss first

"Kathryn... are you sure this is what you want? I had given up hoping you would ever..." His voice was stopped by a deep passionate kiss from Kathryn

"Does that answer your question?" She said with a flirtatious smile in that husky voice that made his pulse quicken

He didn't wait to answer her again, instead he slid his hands over her arms, down across her stomach to her thighs, watching her eyes he moved his hand under the fabric of her skirt, smiling when her breath hitched. His fingers reached the bands of her underwear, he looked at her waiting to see if she would stop him

"Don't stop... please" she moaned against him, pulling him in to a hot kiss that made his breath catch, he pushed her back down on to the sofa and trailed kisses down her throat to the top button on her dress, slowly releasing each button on and replacing it with soft hot kisses against her chest down to her belt

"Hmm think I might have to keep this belt for later uses... after all I have an outfit that matches it perfectly" He smirked against her breasts, she giggled and wriggled under his weight urging him to carry on down her body feeling hot with need and lust

Chakotay quickly removed her belt and carried on down her dress revealing the creamy soft skin he had long imagined was hidden under that uniform that fit her body so teasingly well

Once her dress was open he sat back to fully appreciate her body, in just deep blue lace underwear and heels she was a stunning sight to behold. Her skin was flush with need and arousal

"Chakotay don't tease me like this please..." She was breathless and her voice heavy with lust

He smiled that lazy smile of his, which sent her blood pulsing faster round her body and down to where she was pulsing with need for him. Kathryn sat up and removed the remains of her dress, then started to work on his shirt, his hands stopped her

"No Kathryn, its my time to take care of you... after all I have wanted this as much as you"

"Are you giving your Captain an order Commander?" She almost moaned

"Right now I am not the Commander and you are not the Captain, right now I am a man loving the woman he has dreamed about for years. Its time I get to fulfil some fantasies with you" 

 


	4. Briefing

Admiral Janeway stood gazing out the window of the briefing room, listening to the buzz of conversation between the Senior Staff and her younger self.  _How I have missed this_ she thought to herself, sipping the coffee her counterpart had given her when they met in her ready room a few minutes before. 

Captain Janeway seemed different this morning, more relaxed, more determined than ever to get going. Admiral Janeway could read on her face why, but knowing how private she was when she was Captain she simply smiled and carried on as if nothing more had happened.

 

The Senior Staff were in their customary places at the table, the only missing member was Nelix, as he had just left to stay with his new family of Talaxians on an astroid they had recently passed. Captain Janeway felt his loss keenly, she could do with a sounding board at the moment and the Talaxians friendly smile and manner always helped ease her mind before something big happened... even if the 'coffee' he gave her couldn't be callled coffee to her she missed the strange blends he played with.

Seven of Nine was quieter than normal at the meeting too, something the heavily pregnant half-klingon Chief Engineer B'Lanna Torres was glad about, something about the ex-drone rubbed her the wrong way and she was finding it hard to keep her Klingon temper and additional hormones under control when Seven was being a smug know it all. Although B'Lanna did have to admit that the drone did know more than anyone in the room, perhaps with the exception of Admiral Janeway, about Borg technology and the Queen.

"Right" began Captain Janeway, her command mask firmly in place "You have all had a chance to speak to the Admiral, and I want to start by thanking you all for putting current projects on hold to listen to her plan to get us home faster than she got her crew home" Kathryn nodded to the Admiral who had taken Nelix's chair at the table for ease of conversation. 

"The Admiral has come to us from the future with some interesting and advanced technology which she believes will assist us in at least leaving the Borg licking thier wounds for a very long time at the very least, if not leaving them with complete devistation and giving the Federation a little breathing space to come up with a way to defend ourselves against them" The Captain nodded to the Admiral, indicating for her to take over... Chakotay's proximity to her was sending her brain spinning with images from the previous evening.

Kathryn hoped that only he could tell she was struggling with her concentration this morning, a quick glance to her left at his face told her differently

"I have bought with me the designs for multifasic shielding, torpedoes and armour plating" Admiral Janeway began

Captain Janeway, having heard this several times before allowed her mind to wander for a moment

_"You have fantasies do you Chakotay, so do I, who gets to play theirs out first?" Kathryn spoke breathlessly, her voice deep and husky with desire_

_"How about we share, after all we have all the time in the universe now don't we" Chakotay leaned down and teased her nipples through her lace bra with his warm and skilled mouth, making her moan in pleasure_

_His left hand circled around her delicate wrists and pinned her arms above her head and held them there, while his right made its way down her creamy torso towards the waistband of her panties, she had bucked her hips trying to get his hand to where she desperately needed contact. She felt him smile against her stomach as he trailled kisses down her body, first down one leg and then to the other, purposely avoiding the apex of her thighs_

"Captain.... Captain" Kim's voice broke her out of her memories with a start 

"Sorry Ensign, my mind wandered off, what were you saying?" Out of the corner of her eye she saw her First Officer smirk behind the hand covering his mouth, that would earn him some teasing later. The Captain felt he face heat at the thought of it

"That's OK Captain, we are all a bit distracted with thoughts of home, feels closer now than it has in a while" Harry Kim cleared his throat, aware he may have just over stepped slightly " I was saying that with these upgrade to the shields, our sensors could use an over haul as well, there are improvements that we will probably be able to make so we don't lose them inside the nebula like the last time we passed through it. It may give us an additional advantage over the Borg. I was wondering if Seven could assist me on that if she can be spared by engineering or her duties in Astrometrics?" 

"B'Lanna, could you spare Seven for a few days in Engineering?" The Captain knew how her Chief Engineer felt about the ex-borg crew member, especially since the rumours about her and Chakotay had started circulating

"Yes, I believe so, we may need her expertise later on when it comes to the shields and torpedes but I think untill then we will be busy working double shifts getting the armour plating installed."

"OK, Seven, as we in calm space currently do your duties in Astrometrics require you or are you able to assist Harry?" 

"I will assist Ensign Kim in upgrading the sensors, the data we collected the last time we were in the nebula should prove useful" The Captain was suprised how quickly Seven had agreed to help, Seven was well known for her difficult temperment and being strict in her routine. Kathryn looked at the young woman for a moment longer before moving on

"Excellent, B'Lanna, how long do you expect these modifications to take?"

"With the Admiral's assistance with the designs and that she has already amended them to be compatible with Voyager, perhaps 2, maybe 3 weeks. The longest part of the modifications will be replicating all the pieces for the armour. We will have to utilise all the replicators in the cargo bays and even turn Holodeck 1 in to a large replicator for the largest pieces. We will leave Holodeck 2 spare for the crew to use for as long as possible, only using it if we absolutely have too." B'Lanna knew that the crew would need to blow off some steam, she certainly did when there was a large project going on.

"Excellent" Captain Janeway turned to Tom Paris, her Chief Helmsman "Tom, is there somewhere around here where we can take orbit to make the work easier, I don't feel particularly happy just floating aimlessly around out here so close to the Borg highway"

The tall blond man shifted in his seat, he wasn't one to admit it but he wasn't happy floating around here either "There was an M Class planet that we passed a few days ago, we picked up some supplies there, at least there was could offer some time off the ship if we need additional supplies" 

"Perfect, lay in a course Tom, now unless there is anything else... let's get to it! Home awaits on the otherside of that Nebula" Kathryn smiled "Dismissed"

The Senior Officers all got up from the table, Tuvok assisted B'Lanna as she was ready to give birth any day now and was finding moving around comfortably difficult. 

Kathryn Janeway sat a moment longer at the table lost in thoughts of the plan to get home, the dangers it had and the hope for the Federation as well as her crew. She jumped when she felt a familiar hand rest on her shoulder.

"We will do it Kathryn, they are a determined crew and will follow you to the end" His voice was low and reassuring, as it had always been when she felt at sea with her emotions and the choices that lay in front of her.

"I hope so Chakotay, but I just hope the cost of this shortcut home isn't too high" Kathryn put her hand over his on her shoulder and squeezed it. 

"And you didn't help smirking when I was lost in thought before, its your fault that my mind wasn't on the job anyway" She laughed, the sound soothed his soul and he placed a quick kiss to the top of her head, unable to stop himself

**Admiral Janeway to Captain Janeway**

"Yes Admiral"

**Could I see you and the Commander in your Ready Room please**

"Of Course, on our way" 

Kathryn squeezed Chakotay's hand once more before releasing it and getting up from the table. "Seems my older self still loves a command or two" She smiled "Let's go and see what she wants"

Together, as they always had they crossed the Bridge and entered the Captain's Ready Room on the otherside, nodding to Tuvok at this Security station that he had the Bridge until further notice. 

Upon entering the Ready Room Kathryn noticed that the Admiral was sitting in her customary place under the viewport on the sofa, a PADD in front of her. Something about the older woman's expression gave Kathryn a knot in her stomach, this was not going to be a fun meeting. 

"Computer, 2 Coffees, black, hot... Chakotay did you want a Vulcan tea?" He nodded "And one Vulcan Tea, Hot" ,the replicator shimmered and thier drinks appeared,  _at least with a drink in her hand she had something to cover her moments of thinking with a sip and it gave her hands something to do rather than settle on her First Officers thigh like they were itching to do_

"Thank you both for coming. I haven't been completely clear with how else I plan on getting this ship home" The Admiral began as Kathryn passed her a coffee.

"I had a feeling you were holding something back from us" Chakotay replied

"I never could hide anything from you" 

Captain Janeway sat down next to her older self, looking at the Commander with a similar expression to the Admiral. He shifted his feet feeling suddenly uncomfortable. Chakotay decided to sit down next to the Captain so they could hear what exactly Admiral Janeway had been hiding from them.

"There is an additional part of the attack on the Borg that I need to carry out, in order to distract the Queen and land a devestating blow to the Borg, possibly permenantly defeating them" Her voice was calm and steady as she looked at the younger couple next to her

"In my timeline I had a few more close calls and run ins with our favourite Borg Queen, one of which I was lucky to escape, if it hadn't been for my Chakotay I wouldn't have made it, but it cost us our friendship, almost our professional relationship too" Kathryn and Chakotay looked at each other, both knowing something that bad to ruin thier close friendship and damage thier professional relationship was something they both needed to avoid, after all they had only told each other last night that they couldn't imagine life without each other. Chakotay rested his hand over Kathryn's and held it there 

"Nothing is going to happen Kathryn, not now we have the Admiral here, and after everything we have been through..." He let go of her hand and returned it to his lap, listening to the Admiral

"In my timeline, in order to save me Chakotay put himself at great risk and got himself assimilated, as I had already been, in order to find me and bring me home. If it hadn't been for the suppresant that the Doctor had developed from when myself, B'Lanna and Tuvok were assimilated neither of us would have made it. I couldn't forgive myself that I had allowed my best friend and man I...cared for, go through that because he didn't agree with my actions. Once we were back on board I retreated in to myself, like I did in the Void, and this time Chakotay was finding it difficult to deal with the assimilation process and needed me, but I pushed him away" She looked down, ashamed "He needed me and I turned my back on him, and the rest of the crew... again. My Chakotay had enough of it and decided to leave me to it, he only survived it by doing his duty. When I snapped out of it, the us that we had was gone, for a long time, I was alone, Tuvok was too unwell to be any comfort to anyone so I threw myself in to work and put up walls." 

Kathryn leaned over to the Admiral, took her hand and looked in to her eyes, so similar to her own clear blue eyes, except the older womans were clouded with pain and loss.

"You came back, therefore none of that is going to happen. And I think you know me and this version of Chakotay to know that there is more here now that just a friendship" Kathryn looked at the man sitting next to her and smiled that half smile. 

"Yes, I could tell something was differant when you were in the briefing, don't worry Captain, I don't think the rest of the crew picked up on it" She added quickly when she saw the horrified and embarressed look on her younger selfs face.

Chakotay covered a chuckle under the guise of drinking some tea

"So tell us about this plan you have forgotten to tell us Admiral" Captain Janeway was back now, Kathryn was firmly under the mask of command again

"My EMH devised a virus, based on the one that Icheb has in his system from his people, that once the Borg assimilated would disconnect that cube from the hive mind. Well since then he has had 10 years to work on it, make it stronger, more deadly. Knowing how much the Queen hates me and wants Voyager my EMH gave me a sample of this virus to bring back with me, no he didn't want to but he has always been a loyal friend, he even still does my physicals for me at home as I refuse to go to Starfleet Medical" She smiled again, it was tinged with sadness that she wouldn't see  _her_ crew again "So my part of the plan is to get assimilated... by the Queen herself!"

Kathryn and Chakotay both sat back, shocked by what they had heard

"Assimilated? Again, why?" Kathryn could only stutter out the words

"I knew this was a one way trip Kathryn, and if she assimilates me, and believe me she will be more than happy to after everything we have been through, then it will disconnect her from the Hive mind. Disconnect the Queen and the whole collective falls in to chaos. Chaos from order! They will be unable to function, unable to chase Voyager down when you make your trip home." The Admiral was set in her plan, Captain Janeway knew there was no talking her out of it, not that she wasn't going to try, hoping that time had dulled that stubborn streak in her. 

"There must be an alternative way to deliver the virus to the Queens chamber? I can't believe the Doctor would give you this virus knowing what you had planned" Kathryn was slightly shocked by the EMH's actions, surely that went against his ethics programming. Was is removed later on once they got home for some reason? Had the Admiral some how manipulated him in to it to achieve her goal?

"I know what your thinking Kathryn, and no there is no other way to deliver it. The brightest minds of Starfleet command, including the EMH and several members of this crew have been working on it for years, the only way to deliver it is through assimilation. And I have had my time, and I have the suppressant in my system, my Doctor topped it up before I left, there is no way that the Queen will know what has happened to her until it is too late. Let me do this for you Captain, let me help to get this crew home in a couple of weeks as they are now, every member still alive, still able to go back to thier friends and loved ones. Give them a chance at life after Voyager. I lost too many of my crew between now and when I got them home, and I lost a lot more of myself" She glanced up at Chakotay, he understood she was talking about him "It's the only way Kathryn, trust me" 

The Captain nodded, but she would raise this again with the Admiral at another time, without Chakotay so they could speak frankly about everything, even things that she didn't want to admit to herself let alone the man she loved.


	5. The Planning

After an emotionally draining day all Captain Kathryn Janeway wanted to do was strip off her uniform and sink in to a hot bath, to relieve the aches from muscles she had forgotten she had, thanks to her activity with Chakotay when they should of been eating dinner, and to let her mind mull over what the Admiral had said to them both in her Ready Room. 

Was she really about to let her counterpart sacrifice herself in order to get her crew home a few years early?

As she walked back to her quarters, again lost in thought, she absent mindedly smiled and nodded at the crew members she passed, not really taking in thier faces. 

Instead of ending up at her quarters she stopped outside Chakotay's, before she knew it he was standing in front of her in the doorway, had she even pressed the chime?

"Captain, are you alright, you look lost" He touched her elbow and encouraged her in to his quarters away from prying eyes of any passing crew, after all there were rumours everywhere onboard, he didn't want to add fuel to the fire.

"Kathryn, your worrying me, whats wrong?" 

"I don't know Chakotay." Kathryn leaned in to his chest, feeling the warmth of his body, hearing his strong steady heartbeat under her ear soothed her troubled mind and she relaxed in to him, melting in to his arms around her. How had she denyed herself, and him, this support all these years? 

"Your mind is going mad, I can hear you thinking Kathryn. Do you want to use me as a sounding board or do you want to just sit quietly? Whatever you want to do is fine by me"

"Can we just sit for a moment... I didn't realise I needed company until I saw you at your door, strange that my feet just bought me to you without my brain thinking about it" 

Kathryn moved to the sofa under the viewport, her usual spot in his quarters, wrapping the intricate patterned blanket over herself, Chakotay went to his replicator and ordered 2 Vulcan tea's... he could tell jusy by looking at her she was probably in double figures on coffee today, which even for Kathryn was a lot. He walked back to her, handed her the tea and joined her on the sofa, watching her closely, waiting.

She sipped at her tea, staring out the window at the stars passing them, she wondered which of those stars would have originated in the Alpha Quadrant, if any. She was aware, as always of Chakotay's eyes on her. 

"Can we really let her do this Chakotay, after everything she has risked to come back to us, can we let her sacrifice herself to the Borg?" 

"You know as well as I do that her mind is made up, she has been planning this for a long time Kathryn, and once any Kathryn Janeway's mind is set there is no changing it, believe me I have tried" He smiled, trying to ease her tension

She smiled briefly "You seem to manage it more than most Commander"

"Only because of our bond, Captain" He teased using her rank

Kathryn placed her tea on the table and crawled over to him, leaning on his chest and pressing a quick kiss to his lips. He held her face softly in his hands and deepened it, trying to ease away all the hurt and stress she was feeling, make her forget it just for a moment, with just a kiss. She hummed as their kiss continued to deepen and become more passionate, more full of need to be together. 

Her hands slipped down to the zipper on his uniform and started to pull it down, exposing his chest under his grey tunic, suddenly feeling like he had too many clothes on her hands started to work faster to remove his jacket and tunic... the need to feel his bare chest was over powering to her. He must have been feeling the same as his hands were mirroring her own, trying to remove her tunic from her. They parted briefly to remove thier own offending clothing, till they were both down to just thier underwear, Kathryn felt slightly less sexy than she had the previous night in her usual functional working underwear, while there was Chakotay looking like some bronze god, his skin glowing in the star light.

Chakotay stepped forward pulling Kathryn to him, his eyes never leaving hers, dark brown pools of lust and love stared in to her clear blue sparkling with desire for him. A look he never thought he was going to get to see onboard this ship if ever. His lips lowered to hers and kissed her passionately, she pulled him closer, fingers tangled in his hair making the mesh of thier mouths harder, teeth and tounge scrapping over each other. His arms circled around her waist pulling her tighter towards the growing erection, she wriggled against him feeling him harden against her belly. Her fingers released his hair and travelled down his strong arms to his elbows, then she twisted her arms around his waist trying to get the distance between them even less. She felt him smile agaisnt her lips and the vibration of a moan in his chest. 

This is how they always should of been, stupid Kathryn using protocols to stop something so wonderful for both of them.

Chakotay pushed her back against the bulkhead and lifted her up so his pulsing erection could press against the damp apex between her thighs, Kathryn gasped at the contact, even though it was through clothing it was the closest she had been to any man in far too long. Her arms were over his shoulders as she started to grind her hips in to him, trying desperately to get the sensation she was craving. The pressure pulsing in her groin was almost too much to handle, she knew she was close to climaxing, it didn't take long after denying herself, Chakotay heard the change in her breathing and increased the pressure against her urging her on.

"Come on Kathryn, let go for me" He growled

She didn't need telling twice, she climaxed screaming his name as her hips bucked against him, riding the waves of her climax. He held her close and waited for her to find herself again.

"You needed that then" He laughed against her neck, feeling her pulse start to slow down again. "How about we take this to my bedroom, I get the feeling we are both wearing too many clothes" All Kathryn could do was nod, still regaining her breath from her climax

Chakotay carried her in to his bedroom, then started to unclip her bra, freeing her breasts before sliding down to her thighs. His fingers on the waistband of her panties while nuzzling at her damp apex, making her squirm again

"Huh Chakotay" She breathed "Please, I need you" 

He removed her panties, revealing her damp red curls, he smiled, and removed his boxers, allowing his erection to spring free from its painful prision of cotton. 

Kathryn gazed at him, her sexy smile spread across her face as she saw his cock twitch again.

Chakotay smiled and returned to his position between her legs, his fingers spreading her swollen lips, revealing her clit, slick with her climax still. His tounge flicked over her, making her gasp and buck again. He blew cold air over her skin before returning his tounge to its previous position, he slowly slid his finger in to her stroking her front wall while nipping and sucking at her. He felt her fingers twist in his hair again, he hummed against her sex, making her moan his name. He added an additional finger inside her, curling to massage her wall more.

He felt her muscle start to tighten around his fingers, her breathing changed again. The heat was building again in her stomach, she was going to come again, she needed to, couldn't stop it even if she tried.

"Chakotay, please..." She murmered "I'm going to..." before she could finish her sentance her climax over took her, she bucked wildly against his mouth which was still skillfully nipping and sucking at her bringing wave after wave of shudders over her body. Once they had calmed Chakotay finished sucking at her clit and started kissing up over her damp curls to her creamy stomach, her skin now flushed pink with lust and exersion. He made his way up to the valley between her breasts kissing the way up to her left nipple and started kissing and nipping at the dusty pink mounds, before repeating the action against the other side. He looked up at Kathryn and smiled at her, kissing her neck in the way that made her moan before returning to her mouth. She could taste herself on his tounge, it made her more aroused than she had ever been before, after all none of her other lovers had ever done that.

He smiled and positioned himself between her legs at her entrance. "Kathryn, I won't if you don't want to" 

"You just want me to beg don't you, have the Captain on her knees" She laughed 

"Now theres an image"

He slid himself in to her, slowly allowing Kathryn time to stretch around him "I don't want to hurt you Kathryn. your too precious to me" 

"Ahh Chakotay, more please.... I need you, all of you" 

He pushed further in to her until she covered him to the hilt

"Oh my Spirits, Kathryn you feel amazing, better than I could ever have imagined" He started to move in and out of her, slowly at first, finding their rythm together, he looked in to her eyes and saw only love and longing in them, mirrored in his own. They started to speed up thier need and passion for each other growing with each thrust. His breathing became faster and uncontrolled, she moaned against his neck, urging him on. Both could feel thier climaxes building, but neither wanting to let it over take them enjoying the feeling of thier bodies being connected after so long.

"Kathryn I can't hold on for much longer" He panted in her ear, her golden hair tickling against his face.

"I can't either... its too... Oh my!" Suddenly over taken by her climax she let go, screaming and moaning his name as she did, which sent him over the edge in to his own climax, thrusting and twitching inside her, spilling his seed deep within her. 

After what felt like forever thier breathing returned to normal, Chakotay rolled to his back bringing Kathryn with him to rest of his chest, he slipped his now spent cock out of her and stroked her hair.

"That was...better...than...I could have... ever... imagined" He panted, turning his head to face her. 

"Same here" was all she could say.

They layed there for a long time quietly, just enjoying the closeness and comfort of each other, of being together. Kathryn was the first to break the silence.

"Do you think this would have happened without Admiral Janeway coming back?" She whispered

"By looking at her now and the sadness she feels about the loss of her Chakotay I would have said no, it sounds like she closed her heart away and threw away the key" He stroked her hair "Something I hope you never do Kathryn, your heart is too special to do that with, it makes you the Captain and leader you are, as well as the woman laying in my arms" 

She looked up at him "You would have waited for a long time wouldn't you... for me to admit everything to myself" 

"Yes, I would have always been by your side though, no matter what. Hell he even got himself assimilated for his Kathryn. I would of done that for you too." His voice trembled remembering what she had looked like when she was assimilated by the Borg not that long ago "I couldn't do that again."

"You won't have to, we are going to get home" She let her fingers make patterns over his chest. "We will have to keep this... us... quiet for a while though, who knows how long the debriefings will take once we are home, and how will we explain all this new technology onboard Voyager, without breaking the temporal prime directive?" 

"I don't know, I am sure we will figure something out Kathryn, together" He yawned "Do you want to stay here with me and sleep or are you planning a quick exit while I am asleep?..... Kathryn...Kathryn" He whispered, looking down he realised she had fallen asleep on his chest, smiling he let himself slip in to the best nights sleep he had in a long while, content with the woman of his dreams actually being in his arms.


	6. The Morning after the Night before

Kathryn felt more rested than she had since New Earth, after the storm. She had woken up before Chakotay and eased, reluctantly, out of his arms and bed, quietly collected her clothes and transported from his quarters to hers, she had the early shift on the Bridge this morning and needed to clean up abit before facing the crew.

She also really needed a coffee.

She padded from her living room where the transporter had left her, pausing on the way to the bathroom to put yesterdays uniform and underwear in the replicator to recycle and get a fresh set ready for the day. She decided she would have a hot water shower rather than a sonic shower, she wanted to feel the hot water ease her sore muscles, otherwise she had a feeling her legs especially would be aching for most of the day, making her walk funny by the afternoon.

She smiled to herself, she couldn't remember the last time she had felt so happily achey. 

**Shower time remaining - 5 minutes** the computer announced. 

Kathryn quickly finished up and grabbed a towel.  _At least that is something I won't have to worry about back home, how long I spend in the shower_  

She tapped her comm badge "Captain Janeway to Admiral Janeway"

_Admiral Janeway here_

Kathryn knew she would be up, something about having to be up early for the majority of her starfleet carrer that remained with her even on shore leave. 

"I was wondering if you were available for a quick breakfast" 

_Of course, shall we meet in the Mess hall in 10 minutes?_

"Excellent, see you there, Janeway out"

 

Captain Janeway arrived at the Mess hall, noticing it was quite empty, but then it was still early, there were a few crewman around either coming off shift heading for thier quarters or, like herself, about to start thier day. She nodded to the few that saw her, most were absorbed in what they were eating. 

Chell's breakfast, unlike Nelix's, was at least familiar looking food, but part of the fun of eating in the Mess hall had been guessing what exactly Nelix had severed them, along with the Leeota root he favoured using at every opportunity. Kathryn smiled to herself as she served up some bagels and eggs for her breakfast and helped herself to a mug of black coffee.

She was just sitting down when she heard the Mess Hall doors open, looking up she saw the Admiral scan the hall and locate her, smiling she raised a hand and went to get herself something to eat as well as her, now customary, coffee.

The older woman came to join her counterpart and they both sat for a moment in comfortable silence. 

"You look tired Kathryn" The Admiral said "Relaxed but tired"

Kathryn blushed slightly "I err.. haven't been sleeping well the last couple of nights, things on my mind, you know" She looked up, hoping that she had covered herself enough that her counterpart wouldn't see the truth. Which failed miserably of course. 

"I am happy for you, you have been brave enough to go for something I never allowed myself to give in to, and ultimately ended up losing" A sadness flitted across her face

"You changed that, I don't know what you said to change things but you did" 

Neither of the women wanted to say his name as they were not alone but both knew exactly what they were saying. 

Admiral Janeway shook her head to change the subject " What did you want to speak to me about, I am sure it wasn't just to say Hello"

"No, your right as usual. I wanted to ask you about your plan. I was kind of in too much shock to be able to take it all in yesterday when you started to discuss it with the Commander and myself" Her Captain mask was back in place, to any one looking at them now they were discussing business, nothing more had been said.

"What parts need clarification, I am going to let the Queen herself assimilate me" 

"That's the part that needs clarification, I understand from what you were saying yesterday that you had a version of Icheb's virus in your system. How exactly does it work, our EMH has only just scratched the surface of it" 

"Ah, I forgot that now we didn't really explore the virus as we had other things on our minds, running from the Borg again, before we ran in to the Askri, who now you will, thankfully, never have to meet. The Doctor and I didn't really start to look in to the virus until the next time we ran in to the Queen, about a year from now." She took a deep breath "Basically the virus acts like a blocker to the hive mind. It can only be absorbed by the assimilation process when the neural information from the person being assimilated is being uploaded to the collection. The closer they are to the central plexus the faster and more devestating the affect is on the cube or sphere. Do you remember what the cube was like when we found the Borg children?"

Kathryn shuddered at the memory, the adult drones were all dead and only 5 children, including Icheb, had survived as they had been in maturation chambers. One of the children was only an infant, who was being raised by another family. The 3 youngest children were living as a family with the twin boys biological family on thier original homeworld. Only Icheb remained onboard after his family had sent him back up to be assimilated by the Borg again as he carried this virus. 

"Then you can imagine the distruction it will cause the Borg if the Queen is the one who assimilated the virus. She is after all the Order in the Chaos." 

"OK, I understand that, but how can you be sure that it will be effective enough to cripple her long enough to get this crew home, I know there is no changing your mind about doing it yourself, or even letting us beam you out of there as soon as we can." Captain Janeway sighed, looking at the determination on her older face "I know if it was me that had been through everything you have, lost what you have, I would do the same, and there would be no changing my mind, so I am not even going to try" 

"Thank you"

"But, I do want to make one thing clear... If there is anyway that we can get you out, we will. You know that" 

"Yes I do, but there won't be, and there is no place for me in this timeline, other than to complete my mission and get you and your crew home 10 years earlier than I got mine home" 

Captain Janeway nodded. She knew that the Admiral had thought this through as methodically as she would have, and without letting emotion cloud her ultimate judgement. She knew that the EMH would have looked at every other way of delivering this virus without putting a member of the crew at risk. If this was the only way, then this was the only way and as Captain she had to accept that.

 

At 0600 Captain Janeway entered the Bridge. Her usual crew were at thier stations, Tom was at the helm, Harry at Ops, Tuvok at Security and the heavily pregnant B'Lanna was at the Engineering station running diagnostics. The only person missing was Chakotay who would be on the Bridge later after his morning meeting with crew, she briefly thought she should have left him a note this morning, and hoped that he didn't think she had crept out this morning because she was ashamed of what they had become to each other, because she wasn't. 

She smiled to herself as she took her chair, crossing her legs as normal, flinching a little at the ache she felt over her thighs, subtly massaging the pain away. A crewman appeared at her side and handed her a cup of coffee as well as the morning updates on a PADD. She took both, grateful for something else to concentrate on rather than letting her mind wander back to the previous night.

There was nothing of real interest in the report, but she remained reading it for longer than was needed. A few times she noticed Tom turning to catch a look at her, a smirk crossing his face,  _I will pull him up on it next time_ she thought to herself

Tom turned again, this time Kathryn was ready for him

"Something I can help you with Mr. Paris?" Command in her voice

"No Captain, I was just noticing that you were concentrating on this morning's report quite hard, Is there anything that we need to know from it?" The helmsman smiled, knowing that it wasn't the report that was holding his Captains attention for so long. 

"No Tom, there is nothing that you need to concern yourself with. How long untill we enter orbit of that planet, we must be almost there." 

"Another hour Captain" He replied

"Fine, once we have arrived please establish a standard orbit"

"Pat'aq" Swore B'Lanna suddenly, she then looked up, as if seeing for the first time she wasn't alone on the Bridge "I'm sorry Captain, I didn't mean to... Just having trouble with aligning the new senors" 

"Be, you have been on your feet for almost 18 hours" her husband said quietly "Maybe you need a break, after all you are walking around for two" 

"Is that true Lieutenant, you have been on the go for 18 hours in your condition?" Asked the Captain

"Umm, what time is it?" 

"0700" replied Tuvok who had been silently listening to the conversation

"Then yes I guess it is, I got so busy and absorbed in what I was doing I didn't realise the time" B'Lanna rubbed her swollen stomach "Permission to go and get something to eat, and maybe sleep Captain"

"Of course B'Lanna, I don't want you back on duty until 0600 tomorrow morning, you need to rest, we don't want someone making an appearance just yet do we." Kathryn smiled motioning to B'Lanna's belly. She had grown fond of the fisty engineer, thought of her as a daughter and very good friend. She was glad when Tom and B'Lanna had got married, and then told her they were expecting a little girl, they were a good match and balanced each other out.

"Tom, maybe you should escort your wife to your quarters and make sure she eats something, be back on the Bridge in 1 hour to enter orbit of the planet" 

"Aye Captain" Tom jumped up, to be replaced by an ensign. Both he and the Captain knew that B'Lanna would forget to eat before falling asleep or would carry on working on PADDs in thier quarters if someone didn't make her stop, and the only one not likely to have his head bitten off was Tom.

As they left the Bridge, Commander Chakotay stepped out of the Turbolift, he smiled to his formed Marquis crewman and her husband as he stepped aside to let them leave the bridge

"She been pushing herself again" He asked no one in particular

"Yes, I thought she was about to put her fist through the engineering console a moment ago, she has been on her feet for too long, I sent her to rest. Don't want that baby arriving too soon do we" Kathryn answered

"Hmm no not really" the Commander seemed a little off, where was the soft comforting voice he normally used on the early shifts

He came down the steps and took his normal position next to Kathryn, noticing the PADD on the console between them. "Anything interesting this morning?" 

"Not really, the usual information" She smiled at him, hoping he would smile back, instead he simply turned and looked straigh ahead.

_Oh no, he thinks I left because I have changed my mind, had my fun and run_

"Chakotay" She lowered her voice so that no one else could hear them "I had a meeting with the Admiral this morning" She hoped that would answer why she was gone when he got up this morning

"I know, I saw her on my way to the bridge, she explained that you had some concerns about her plan and wanted to get clarification on them" Again he didn't meet her eyes

"Would you like to go to my Ready Room to discuss it?"

"Yes that would probably be a good idea"

"Tuvok, you have the Bridge" Captain Janeway got up from her chair and made her way to the Ready Room, closely followed by her Commander.

As soon as the Ready Room doors closed she turned to face him, expecting to be glared at for leaving without a note, instead she was met by his arms and warm kiss

"I woke up this morning and you were gone, I half thought I had dreamt last night but I could smell your perfume on my pillow so I knew it wasn't" He said once he released her lips

"I'm sorry, I woke up early and you looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake you. I thought it was best to let you sleep, after all we didn't exactly get much sleep last night did we" She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair "The Admiral was troubling me, so I wanted to speak to her before my shift on the Bridge." She was relieved that he wasn't angry, just trying to keep his hands to himself in front of the crew as she had asked him to

"I missed you, and certain parts of my body were really, really missing you" He pushed his hips in to her body so she could feel his growing erection though his uniform. "Now we have actually been together I never want to be apart Kathryn. I don't think my body will ever stop wanting to touch yours" He leaned down and kissed her again, pushing her back against her desk.

She smiled against his lips, making him break the kiss

"Whats so funny?" He asked

"Nothing, just this was the start of one of my fantasies, Commander" She replied raising one eyebrow as she smiled, her eyes sparkling

"Really... If you tell me about it maybe we can make it come true... I'm sure we have time before we are missed on the Bridge"

Kathryn swallowed, her throat suddenly dry "Well it started much like this, being pressed against my desk, you kissing me like you just did and trailing kisses down my throat"

Chakotay started to do as she was describing, knowing it was going to drive her mad with desire and ease his throbbing erection... eventually

"Then when I was backed against the desk, it being pressed in to the back of my legs you turned my body round and bend me over it, pushing me over so that my bottom and your cock are aligned... ahh yes like that" Chakotay was all too happy to keep pace with her fantasy "You in zipped my jacket and slide your hands under my tunic over my skin releasing my breasts from my bra, mmm tease my nipples with your fingers, while sliding my pants down and exposing my bare legs and panties.... Yes more, Oh Chakotay! You free your hard cock from your pants and push my panties to the side to reveal my dripping wet pussy, oh my god your so hard already... then you slide in to me and fuck me hard against the desk until we are both spent." 

Chakotay slide his cock easily in to her, she was so ready for him. He was soon in to the hilt and drawing back to go back again, rubbing one of her nipples between his fingers while the other swirled around her clit making her gasp and moan his name in pleasure. He pulled back and rammed in harder to her. Her breath left her lungs in a rush "Oh yes, so good, harder Chakotay,faster, harder, more of you, everything you have, I need you" He pulled back and gave her all he had untill he could feel her muscles tightening around him as her climax built, edging him closer to his own

"Come for me Kathryn, I can feel your close" With that her climax crashed over her, pushing him over the edge, spilling his seed inside her. 

After a few minutes he slipped out of her and walked over the the refresher unit to the side of her Ready room, and got a warm cloth to clean her up, couldn't have the Captain going to the bridge smelling of the First officer after all. 

When he returned she had rearranged her hair and top, she accepted the cloth and cleaned herself of thier juices and smiled at him.

"Well that was better than the fantasy, although I am not sure I will be able to look at my desk the same way again" They both laughed

"It will certainly give something else to think about during Tuvoks security reviews won't it" 

"I need another coffee, can I interest you in a tea Chakotay, I actually do need to speak to you about what the Admiral and I spoke about this morning" She quickly sorted her uniform and went to her replicator, turning to see if he wanted anything. He shook his head

"Computer, Coffee Black Hot" As her coffee shimmered in the existance, Chakotay took his usual spot on the sofa, his body turned to where she usually sat.

"I called her this morning, when I got back to my quarters as it was troubling me how she planned to use the virus from Icheb's people to destroy the Queen herself, I couldn't see if there was another way of delivering it and she was just sacrificing herself for no reason other than what she saw as her failings" Kathryn sat down

"And what did you discover?" 

"That there is no other way to deliver the virus in to the collective, she and her EMH have been working on it for years, and you know what the Doctor is like, even now, he won't risk anyone's life unless there is absolutely no other way" She sighed, still uncomfortable with the choice her older self had made "She told me that the virus that she and the Doctor developed off the back of the one Icheb is infected with acts like a neutal blocker from the hive mind, but the closer you are to the central plexus of the collective the better it works... so by getting the Queen herself to assimilate the virus..."

"It would destroy the Queens link to the Collective, bringing Chaos to order, as she is thier Order after all" Chakotay understood the basics of the Admirals plan.

"And the only way the virus gets uploaded in to the Collective is via a host body, same as with Icheb"

"So the only way for us to get this virus in the the Queen now is to allow the Admiral to go through with her plan and be the host body for the virus" Chakotay blew out a breath "Phew that is a tough decision to make, but then I am sure she and the Doctor would have looked at every possible angle and method of delivery, no one wants to put themselves at risk, especially with the Borg." 

"And she has the neural supressant in her system too, so that the Queen won't be aware of the plan until it is too late for her to stop Voyager getting out of the Delta Quadrant and getting home" Kathryn felt her heart lift for the first time in a while at the thought of home

"Then I guess there is nothing to do except get on with the plan... I am guessing you told her that if there is an opportunity to get her out and bring her with us..."

"We are taking it, she understood and agreed, a bit too easily, but then maybe she knows as well as I do there isn't going to be much of a chance where the Queen is concerned.Still she knows we will try." Kathryn finished the rest of her coffee and looked out the window, the planet was coming in to view "Looks like we had better get back to Bridge, Tom will be getting in to orbit soon."

 


	7. Let's do this!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 weeks after the last chapter, all modifications are complete.

As the Admiral, Captain and Commander finished thier assessment of the modifications to Voyager, they were happy that everything was as ready as it would ever be. Now came the scary part, facing the Borg and thier Queen. 

There was nothing more that any of the crew could do to improve the modifications, the armour was working better than the Admiral had anticipated, the Shields were at peak performance and the new torpedoes had been installed throughout the ship. The new sensors were online and thanks to the modifications Kim and Seven had made they should have plenty of warning about Borg ships coming up and at least be able to see where they were in relation to the Borg hub within the nebula.

The only thing worrying Kathryn Janeway was something completely out of her control, her Chief Engineer. B'Lanna had been pushing herself more and more the last few days and it was taking its toll on the heavily pregnant half-klingon. Kathryn was getting worried that B'Lanna was going to push herself in to early labour. 

"You should be resting now B'Lanna" Kathryn had found her in the Mess hall burried in PADDs of work "There is nothing more we can do now untill we get to the nebula in a couple of days, maybe you should take them off, go and visit the holodeck and relax. Hell Tom is driving me mad, take him with you, have a break before the baby comes" 

"Thank you for the offer Captain, but I really want to make sure everything is running the best it can be before we greet the Borg" 

"B'Lanna, don't make me order you to take a break" Kathryn smiled "You know I will... or maybe even send you to see the Doctor and get him to put you on bed rest?" She smirked knowing that her Chief Engineer hated seeing the EMH even more than she did. 

"No no, I will go. Tom has a holodeck programme he has been wanting me to try with him anyway, and its not like you won't know where I am if anything happens with the new equipment" B'Lanna sighed, her belly was sore and she knew she hadn't been taking much care of herself lately, focusing instead on making the ship as safe as possible to get the crew home so she could have her baby in the Alpha Quadrant. 

"Good, I will see you in a couple of days when you are rested" Kathryn was glad she didn't have to order the young woman to take the time off or to take her Helmsman with her. Tom was getting more anxious about B'Lanna going in to labour by the day and it was starting to grate on her.

 

That evening Kathryn returned to her quarters, determined to have a soak in her bath, she had been promising herself a soak all day, especially after crawling through jefferies tubes all day, the only good thing about it was watching Chakotay's amazing backside in front of her for the majority of it, occasionally she had the Admiral in front of her, then she would think  _Well at least my bum doesn't expand or go south like mum's did_ , she would then tell herself off for thinking that about her mother.

Kathryn removed her dirty uniform and placed it in to the replicator to recycle, she grabbed her robe off the door of her wardrobe and wrapped herself in it when her door chime sounded. She huffed wishing she had set the do not disturb on the door. 

"Come" She pulled the robe closer round herself as Seven of Nine came in.

"Seven, what a suprise, is there something I can do for you" The ex-borg had been avoiding her for the past couple of weeks and only saying the bare minimum in the staff meetings

"Captain, I have disturbed you, I can go, my apologies" Seven turned to leave, Kathryn touched her arm to stop her

"What did you need Seven, we haven't really had a chance to talk the past couple of weeks, what with the modifications and all" 

"I have been avoiding you, Captain" Blunt as ever

"Me, why?" Kathryn was puzzled "What have I done to make you want to avoid me"

The only thing Kathryn could think of was... Chakotay! Did Seven know how the Commander, her former lover, felt about his Captain? Did Seven know that they had become lovers?

"There is nothing you have done, directly Captain, you may have been aware that Commander Chakotay and myself were in a brief relationship before the Admiral arrived onboard Voyager."

Kathryn could do no more than nod, the lump in her throat had started to grow. Maybe the relationship between Seven and Chakotay had meant more to the ice blonde than it had to him. 

"When the Admiral came onboard she revealed several things to me regarding how my relationship with the Commander would ultimately cause pain to those around me, and that there was only one course of action to avoid this pain, and that was to end the relationship while it was still in its infancy." Seven paused

"OK Seven, I admit that hearing that must have been difficult, but I fail to see how that has lead to you avoiding me" Kathryn was waiting to hear the reason she was sure was coming from the drones own mouth

"As I said Captain, it was not something you have done directly, however I have seen the way that the Commander looks at you when he believes no one else is watching, and you yourself have also changed the way that you look at him." Seven raised the eyebrow that was covered by her borg implant "You and he have always had a... connection that was deeper than friendship, it is known amongst the crew and there is idle gossip about you both as well. Although I know you have never acted on your feelings for him due to the Starfleet protocols it is clear that now we are returning to the Alpha Quadrant you both want to take your relationship further, and are not hiding this intention from each other" 

"Seven...I... We..." Kathryn's voice trailed off. She didn't realise that the drone was so perceptive.

"That is why I have been uncomfortable in your presense Captain, particularly when the Commander is also there. I hope you understand that" 

"Yes of course Seven, I hadn't realised I was looking at the Commander any differently" She lied, of course she had been looking at him differently, after all she now knew his body intimately, knew when it felt like inside her "I shall endevour to make it easier in the future for you Seven. Thank you for making me aware of it. Would you like me to speak to Commander Chakotay about it as well?" 

"No, I believe that would make the situation worse if anything. I just wanted to apologise for my behaviour the last few weeks, it has not been professional when you needed me to perform at my best in order to get the crew home and complete your mission." Seven turned to leave "I hope this does not affect how you see me as a friend Captain"

With that Seven left the Captains quarters, Kathryn stood there, slightly dazed by the conversation with her. Seven had come to Voyager purely by accident after an alliance with the Borg had almost ended in disaster for both Chakotay and Kathryn but also Voyager. Chakotay had ended up sucking all the borg drones from the cargo bay in to space after they had attempted to assimilate Voyager, Seven of Nine had been the only survivour but was completely cut off from the Collective for the 1st time in 20 years. 

She was assimilated as a child, no more than 8 years old, and had no idea what being an individual was about or how to interact with members of the crew. Kathryn had looked after her and slowly mentored the drone in to individuality and eventually in to building friendships and relationships with the crew, with the Doctor's help from his social lessons. Kathryn had no idea that Seven was so hurt by the end of her relationship with Chakotay that she partially held Kathryn responsible for it too.

Kathryn sighed, feeling her neck stiffen, she needed her soak in the bath more than ever now.

She returned to her bathroom as turned on the taps, feeling the warming water flow over her fingers. She found her favourite oils and bubble bath, placing generous amounts of both in to the swirling water, breathing in the Jasmine and lavender scents.

_Chakotay to Captain Janeway_

She rolled her eyes, but smiled at the same time "Yes Commander"

_Kathryn, did I just see Seven leaving your quarters?_

"Yes Chakotay you did, she came to see me about avoiding me for the last week or 2" She swirled the water in her bathtub

_Are you OK? Do you need me to come over_ his voice was low and husky

"I am OK, I was just about to treat myself to a soak in the bath. I have been promising myself one all day. I need to soak a few muscles that have been over used that past couple of weeks"

_Oh really... do you want any help massaging those muscles, I know how tight your neck gets Kathryn_

She smiled, remembering his magic fingers on her neck on New Earth "That sounds wonderful. You know my door code after all so I doubt I could stop you if you were really determined to see your Captain naked in her bathtub"

_No you really couldn't, Chakotay out_

Kathryn smiled to herself as she removed her robe, letting it fall to the floor around her feet, as she slipped in to the hot water, thinking to herself she was glad that it was a large bathtub, bigger than the one Chakotay had built for her on New Earth, but then they did have a river if he ever wanted to join her in the water there. Here at least the water would be hot.

She slid down the side of the bath, sinking under the water, humming as the hot water covered her whole body, feeling the aches disappear in the oils and bubble bath. She didn't hear the door open, so was mildly suprised to see Chakotay standing in the door way in nothing but a standard issue towel. How long had he been in her quarters before she knew he was there... looking at his naked chest she didn't care, even though she had seen him naked every evening for the last 2 weeks, he still took her breath away.

"How long have you been standing there?" 

"How long have you been under the water Kathryn?" She smiled weakly, she wasn't sure but it felt nice

"Mind if I join you?" Chakotay had his hands on the top of his towel, making her mouth water at the visions of what lay hidden underneath, all she could do was nod

He slipped in behind her, placing a leg either side of her body, now warmed by the hot water. He had wondered how she always smelt so intoxicating, now he knew it was the oils from her bath. 

He ran his hands over her slippery arms, feeling the heat radiating from her. He moved his hands to her shoulders, were he could feel the tension in her neck, where she always carried her stress. Gently he started to massage the knots away in her neck, her head fell forward and to the side giving him access to her neck, Chakotay started to kiss the tender spot below her ear, making her hum in appreciation.

"That feels good" She sighed "You really do have magic fingers... on any part of my body" 

"Good to know" He murmured against her neck "Do you want to tell me what a certian ex-borg crew member wanted to speak to you about?"

He felt her stiffen under him. "I think you can guess if you tried hard enough"

"Me" straight and to the point.

"Half right, it was more... Us!" She blushed "Apparently we have been gazing at each other too much and it is making her uncomfortable around us, to the point she feels she can't work around either of us. She has therefore been taking it upon herself to keep out of our way as much as possible. Avoiding me mainly." Kathryn was still hurt by Seven's need to avoid her, even if she understood it. After all hadn't she been doing the same around her since she had first learned that the man currently occupying space in her bathtub was dating the drone?

"I didn't realise she had picked up on anything Kathryn, I'm sorry it has driven a wedge between you two" Chakotay was genuinely sorry, he had been the cause for the damage in a relationship that he knew Kathryn valued.

"It's fine, she spoke to me about it, almost as if she knew that there had always been something between us, waiting until we got home, or at least as close as we were ever going to get" She leaned back in to him, letting his arms elnclose around her waist. "I never meant to be the cause of any pain for her, after all the issues we have had helping her to regain her humanity, I guess it never crossed my mind that she was more like a teenager than a grown woman. She seems so strong, almost like she is still built of all those Borg implants, not letting anything so trivial as human relationships penetrate her shielding, but we have, we have hurt her, and as happy as I am we have each other, I am sorry it has come at her pain, Chakotay"

"Do you want me to speak to her? Do you think it would help?"

"God no! Thats the last thing you should do, in fact she specifically asked me not to tell you, so don't let her know that you know what she has said to me. If she choses to come to you then by all means feel free to speak to her, but it has to be her choice."

Kathryn leaned back in to him, settling on his chest, listening to his heartbeat under her ear.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything, should I" She was feeling guilty for breaking the mood

"No it's fine, I asked, its my fault" He soothed her

"Chakotay... do you mind if we don't... you know do anything tonight, I just want to be held" She chuckled "And I think my muscles could do with a night off, they haven't been used for a long time and are now getting an intense workout"

He kissed the top of her head, "Of course we don't have to, I am happy just to sit with you like this and hold you, it's something I have waited for, for longer than I can remember, and now that I get to do it, I intend to cherish every second"

"Well we might have to get out soon, the water is getting cold and I'm starting to prune up. Fancy taking this to the bedroom and just sleeping? We have a busy couple of days ahead of us after all." Kathryn wanted to speak to her older self again, one last time, see if she could discover the real reason she came back, there had to be more than saving a few extra years off the trip. Something in her eyes, eyes Kathryn knew so well, was telling her there was more.

Chakotay moved behind her and stepped out of the bath, she turned appreciating his bronzed body, smiling to herself that she had been staring at his backside most of the day and now she could appreciate it naked and soapy in her bathroom. He turned, catching her looking at him.

"What did I do now, Kathryn?"

"Nothing... Just I have been staring at your wonderful backside all day in uniform crawling through those jefferies tubes, its just nice that I get to see it in its full glory now, rather than having to let my imagination try and do your body justice."

He raised an eyebrow "And do I met your imaginations standards Captain?"

"Above and beyond the call of duty,Commander"

"Good" He passed her a towel "You know how I like to go above and beyond your expectations..." He let his last statement hang in the air, making her blush with the memories of the last couple of weeks play in her mind

She stood up, no longer embarressed to be naked around him, wrapped the towel around herself, and accepted his hand to step out of the tub before heading to the bedroom.

They dried off before climbing naked in to bed, knowing that there would be no point in putting clothing on. Chakotay settled on his back pulling Kathryn down on to his chest, this had become thier normal position, more comfortable and allowed him to play with her hair, something he loved to do. She ran her fingers round his chest, swirling round his nipples in lazy circles.

"Chakotay... what exactly did the Admiral tell you about the future, are you going to tell me?"

"I didn't think you wanted to know, temporal prime directive and all that"

"I didn't, but what ever it was, it was enough to change your mind about Seven and me, something must have struck a cord"

"She told me that when her Chakotay came to tell her about his relationship with Seven it nearly killed her, her heart stopped caring then, she felt she had lost her warrior...and when he married Seven, her heart became stone to anyone and everything, she started to shut herself away from the crew, her friends and only going through the motions of duty. When her Tuvok became too ill and had to shut himself away, she was completely alone, and with no one to pull her back from the edge she fell in to solitude and isolation, like you did when we were in the Void"

"But I had you to pull me back, to be my anchor to sanity" Kathryn's voice was thick with tears threatening to flow

"When the Admiral told me that her Chakotays relationship with Seven had destroyed her, it upset me, that I could ever hurt you like that was unimaginable to me. I never want to hurt you, I have promised I would always be there for you, and I always intended to be. When I thought you didn't want me... this, ever I closed my heart to you and started to turn away. That was wrong of me. Can you forgive me for that?" Kathryn lifted from his chest, and kissed him tenderly on his mouth

"How could you ever think I didn't love you. I have loved you from the first moment you trnasported over, threatening to kill Tom Paris" They both smiled at the memory "I hid behind protocol, Mark, duty... everything, trying to protect myself from something that I didn't need protection from. I was trying to save myself from hurt, but it only ended up causing more. Forgive me?" Chakotay gave his forgivness the same way as Kathryn had, only this time he pulled her down to him deepening the kiss, trying to pour all his love in to it, trying to show her that he had never given up hope or love for her.

He pulled her up so she was sitting straddling his hips, his aching erection nudging at her entrance, he ran his fingertips down her back, Kathryn arched at his touch, deepening thier contact. 

Kathryn sat up, repositioning herself over him, so she could take his erection in to her, inch by inch she slid down his cock until he filled her, sighing at the pleasure that rippled through her body she sank back down and kissed him. Both being soft and tender with each other, the previous times they had sex it was fast and urgent, almost as if they would be ripped apart at any second, this time felt different. They were more open with each other, pouring thier love and need for one another in to every touch, every kiss and movement.

Chakotay started to rock his hips, moving within Kathryn, lifting her slowly and purposefully making her moan with each action

"Chakotay... please don't stop" She whispered against his lips, kissing him deeply again, feeling him filling her each time he entered her. 

Sitting back up she steadied herself on his chest with her hands, and met him thrust for thrust, slowly building thier speed, edging towards thier climax, matching rythms. She could feel the now familiar pressure building in her belly, the tightening of her muscles, the flush of heat spreading over her skin, she curled her fingers on Chakotays chest, digging her finger nails in to his skin, making him moan her name.

"Kathryn... I can't hold on much longer" He breathed, thrusting deeper in to her, feeling her arch back taking all he could give sent him over the edge as her muscles tightened around him.

They climaxed at the same time, both breathlessly moaning the others name, Kathryn fell back against his chest as he wrapped his hands around her hips, holding her over him so he could fill her completely with his seed. 

Slowly their breathing returned to normal

"So much for just sleeping tonight eh Commander" Kathryn said between husky breaths "Think thats an order you disobayed, I could put you in the brig" She raised an eyebrow

"I think you will find that you disobayed your own order Captain, as I believe you kissed me first" He laughed, running his fingers over her spine making her shiver against him.

Kathryn slipped off Chakotay, and returned to rest against his chest "Oh well then it is both of us to the brig then" she sighed sleepily agaisnt him

"Hmm maybe, get some sleep Kathryn, even your level of coffee can't keep you awake now, you should sleep" He gathered the blanket and draped it over both of them before falling in to a deep dreamless sleep.

 

**The time is 0545** the computer chimed in, making both Kathryn and Chakotay jump. Both too comfortable to move from the bed.

"Today's the day, isn't it?" Kathryn asked "The day we face the Borg" 

"Are you ready to go home?" Chakotay breathed in to her hair

"More than ready... its the bit before we make it I am worried about, but with you by my side I know we will do it"

"Yes, we can" Chakotay started to sit up, trying to give Kathryn all the strength that he had to get her through the day. "Come on, we have to be on the bridge in 15 minutes, we need to get going. You know Harry is going to be like a kid at Christmas with excitement and nerves untill we get there" 

"True" Harry Kim had been the most excitable member of the crew when it came to possible ways home. This was the closest they had been for years, and the excitement was palpable onboard.

"OK then Commander, lets do it. Dinner on me when we get home" Kathryn smiled, she could almost taste home... now to survive the day.

 


	8. The Borg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Although I thought the Borg scenes in Endgame were good, some of the better ones from the series, I have rewritten some of it so it is not the same as the episodes.

Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay entered the Bridge at 0600, thier command masks of professional relationship fully in place, neither of them betraying what had happened between them the night before. 

Thier senior staff were at thier normal stations, the air on the bridge was tense, but everyone knew their roles in the battle to follow, and everyone was eager for the outcome they wanted to be true.

Harry Kim shifted in at his post, nervous energy obviously pulsing through him.

"Ensign Kim, would you join the Commander and myself in my Ready Room?" Captain Janeway requested, chancing a look at Chakotay, they both knew there was something that needed to be done before they got to the Alpha Quadrant, something that until now had been neglected.

"Yes Captain" Kim left his post, and followed the Captain and Commander in to her Ready Room.

"Ensign, your service onboard Voyager has always been to the highest standards, until now we have neglected showing you the command teams appreciation" The Captain began

"Sadly the time does not allow for ceremony, however I am sure when we get back to Earth there will be plenty to celebrate then, we can add this to the mix for one of the first, that is if you accept?" She held out a shiny black box to the Ensign, who took it with a shaky hand, hoping what he thought was inside was.

"We would like to promote you to Lieutenant, Harry, we should have done this long ago." The Commander watched Harry's face break in to a huge smile, they both knew this was something that he had wanted for a long time.

"Of course I except, thank you Captain, Commander" He beamed, passing the box back to the Captain

She opened it and removed the pip from the red cushioning inside. "Then it is my greatest pleasure to promote you to Lt. Harry Kim, with all the priliege and responsibility it entails" She said attaching the pip to Harry's collar " Congratulations Harry, its been a long time deserved." She smiled at him, feeling the same motherly pride for Harry that she had felt from the moment the new Ensign had presented himself to her on the day Voyager left DS9 for the Badlands, 7 years ago. 

"Dismissed Lt. Kim, we have a big day ahead of us" Captain Janeway ordered

The new Lt. Kim beamed and left the Ready Room leaving the Commander and Captain inside.

"We should have done that a long time ago Kathryn" Chakotay said, his hands on his hips, drawing Kathryns attention to them, memories of the previous evening flitted across her face. He smiled his half smile at her reading her face as easily as a book.

"Yes, we should have done, maybe I just didn't want Harry to grow up. He came to Voyager a fresh faced baby Ensign, just graduated. His mother contacted me the day before, did I ever tell you that" Chakotay shook his head "Yes, she wanted me to keep her son safe on his first mission away from home. I told her I would" A sad smile crossed her lips, remembering the conversation with Mrs Kim "Maybe I put off promoting him so I could keep him safe on Voyager, being an Ensign meant he couldn't go on the more dangerous missions of the higher ranks, maybe in some way I was trying to keep my promise to his mother... and now we are nearly home, I have fulfilled it, so he can grow up in my eyes" She looked at Chakotay "Does that sound selfish and stupid?" 

"No not at all, you care about every member of this crew, but like all people you have grown closer to the members of the crew you work closer with. Same as the Marquis crew that are aboard with me" Chakotay smiled at her "Now, Captain, we have a long mission to complete! Do you need a coffee to bring you back to the Bridge before we take on the Borg?" His question had the desired affect, Kathryn stood up from her position on the sofa, straightened her uniform and fiddled with her hair, which hadn't moved out of place but it put her Captain Janeway face back in place.

"No, lets get this crew home Commander" She said in her husky voice that made Chakotay grin

"Shall we" He offered his arm, which she gladly took, and together, a united front, the walked back on to the Bridge, taking up thier command positions.

 

=^=

Admiral Janeway was preparing her shuttle to leave Voyager so she could complete her part of the plan, her plan, she had to keep reminding herself. Was this nervousness? She had faced the Borg Queen before, more occasions than she cared to remember, and each time she had defeated her... sometimes by the skin of her teeth, only once it had cost her more than she ever wanted to pay. Sadness at the loss of her relationship with Chakotay clouded her pale blue eyes, she shook her head, not wanting to think about it now, before she went in to battle. 

The Admiral turned, hearing someone behind her, clearing thier throat. She was suprised to see Seven of Nine standing at the doorway to her shuttle. It still stunned her that Seven was here, and would make it home, alive.

"Seven... Can I...help you?" The Admiral stuttered, trying to regain her composure

"Admiral, I wanted to speak to you regarding what we discussed when you first came aboard. I am having trouble dealing with the information you gave me. However I can see you are busy preparing for your mission, I will leave you to complete your preparations." The ex-drone turned to leave

"Seven, I don't believe I will be returning from my part of this, so as they say in the temporal mechanic department 'there is no time like the present'" A smile crossed her lips thinking of the last time she had used that saying with Reg Barclay's class before she left. "What is troubling you Seven" 

"You said I died, but you did not tell me how I lived? Was I...happy?" Seven looked at the Admiral, her eyes searching the older lady's face

"To tell you the truth, you and I grew apart, it was probably my fault in a way. I started to close myself off from everyone around me after..." The Admirals voice grew quiet

"There were things that happened to me Seven, things that I don't want to think about, or discuss, you understand. Anyway, because of these things I began to avoid certain members of the crew, my Seven of Nine included. But from what I saw of you, yes you were happy, for a time" The Admiral smiled weakly, remembering the times she had heard the arguements through the bulkhead of Chakotay's quarters, the rumours of the nights they spent apart, hearing the making up later. She didn't want to tell Seven about it all, after all that future didn't matter anymore for this Seven, not now that Kathryn and Chakotay had admitted thier true feelings for each other, something she had never had the courage to do until it was too late. Untill she had lost her Chakotay... both as a friend and as a Commander. She never let herself admit it until he was burried under his tree, where he had once told her he wanted to be, in better times together.

"Thank you Admiral, I did not meant to cause you any distress, I shall let you continue your preparations. See you on the Bridge" Seven rose to leave. She had the answers she needed. 

 

=^=

"Captain, we are nearing the nebula" Tom Paris announced from the helm. 

"All stop Mr. Paris" Captain Janeway ordered and tapped her comm badge "All Senior staff to the Bridge" 

10 minutes later all the Senior staff and Admiral Janeway were on the Bridge, faceing the view screen, faceing what was to come.

"We all know what we have planned, we have run simulations and the new modifiations have all been checked and tested, we know they work as designed by the Admiral" Captain Janeway nodded to her older counterpart.

"Tom we may need some of your fancy flying in there, but I know you are up to the task, after all this flying in a straight line I expect..." She was cut off but a noise from her Chief Engineer, who was doubled over clutching her swollen belly

"Sorry Captain" She winced as she spoke "I don't think I will be able to perform my duties" B'Lanna looked at Tom "You stay here Flyboy, I have to go to Sickbay, think this little one of ours is trying to make an appearance, I need to get the Doctor to check me over" Looking back to the Captain "Permission to leave the Bridge Captain" 

"Granted, Tom go with her, we won't need you for 20 minutes, and the Doctor will send you back if its going to be a long time" She turned to B'Lanna "Your daughter appears to have the same timing as her mother, good luck" She watched as her Helmsman and Chief Engineer walked off the Bridge, making a silent promise to them both that she would make sure that their daughter would see the Alpha Quadrant and have a normal childhood, not one stuck onboard Voyager dodging dangerous species and hostile worlds. 

"Right, now that it looks like we have lost B'Lanna, Seven, you were working closely with her, can you step in to her role?" 

"Yes Captain, I can monitor engineering from here and the sensors for Astrometrics" 

"Good" Captain Janeway let out a sigh of relief, Seven could be difficult at times, she was glad this was not one of them

"Admiral, when do you intend to depart Voyager" 

"Within the hour, we need to be just inside the nebula to mask my launch from the Borg sensors. Once I have left Voyager I will engage my shields and get as close to the Queens ship as possible, hiding in plan sight as it were. Using the interferance to mask my warp signiture" The Admiral sounded more confident than she actually felt, something she had learnt over her years in command, she hoped it was enough to cover it even from her younger counterpart.

"Right, OK everyone, stations please" Captain Janeway could tell the Admiral wanted to get going, so it was best to start now, maybe they would be home in time for that dinner she had promised Chakotay on Earth.

Everyone fanned out to thier work stations, all ready to start their part in the final push home. An ensign took the helm in place of Tom Paris, Kathryn hoped that he would be back soon to take his place. 

Almost as if he could hear her thoughts her comm badge went 

_Paris to Captain Janeway_

"Janeway here, Tom how is B'Lanna"

_She is in early labour Captain, the Doctor wants to keep her here, to monitor her, but says it could be a while. If you need me on the Bridge I am being booted out by both him and my wife_

**_Only because you are in the way and not currently required Mr._ _Paris_** Kathryn heard the Doctor say over the comm

"Well if you are in the way Tom we could sure use you and your fancy flying skills, see you on the Bridge" 

"OK Captain, Paris out" 

Kathryn again felt herself relax, it wasn't that she didn't have faith in every one of her crews abilities, it was more that she felt safer with Tom at the helm, he had seen Voyager through more scrapes than she could count with his quick thinking and unorthodox flying skills.

10 minutes later Tom appeared on the Bridge and took his place at the helm

"Thanks Captain, I think B'Lanna was about to rip my head off for getting her pregnant in the first place, best I stay out of there until she needs me... for my own safety" The helmsman laughed, he loved his wife's firey Klingon side but was usually glad when it wasn't directed at him

Kathryn smiled "Glad to be of service Tom, although you might not be able to get down there if we are in the middle of things up here at the moment, is B'Lanna OK with that?" 

"Yes Captain, she understands. Think she is annoyed she won't get to be in battle. That Klingon streak has gotten stronger since we met that ship of them a few weeks ago" Tom said remembering the large amount of Klingons they had run in to who believed that his unborn daughter was some kind of saviour for thier race. 

"OK then, take us in"

 

=^=

"Captain Janeway to Admiral Janeway" 

_I'm here Captain_

"We have entered the nebula, let us know when you wish to depart"

_I am on my way to my shuttle now, I will contact you once I am ready, Janeway out_

Short and sweet Kathryn thought, she hoped it wouldn't be the last time she spoke to her, but knew deep down it probably was. Chakotay caught her eye, his eyes were warm and filled with all the unspoken support she knew he was giving her. How she wanted to take his hand and hold on to it for dear life and take all the support he could give her, physically and emotionally, but instead she gave him her signiture half smile. 

_Admiral Janeway to Captain Janeway_ there had to be a shorter way of getting hold of each other

"Janeway here"

_I'm ready to depart Voyager. Good luck Captain. I know you will get your crew home safely_

"Thank you Admiral, for all you have done. We will keep a transporter lock on you for as long as we can"

_Agreed_

Both Janeway's knew that there wasn't much that Voyager could do once the Admiral was inside the Queen's chamber, the shields surrounding her were impervious to Starfleet transporters, but it made Captain Janeway feel better and less defenceless against the Federations greatest known enemy.

"The Admiral's shuttle has cleared Voyager Captain" Tuvok spoke clearly.

"Good luck Kathryn" Captain Janeway whispered, only Chakotay was able to hear her, but he didn't say anything

On the viewscreen the Bridge crew saw the shuttle cross the front of Voyager before disappearing in to the clouds of the nebula that were swirling all around them.

It was time for Voyager to do their part of the Admirals plan

 

=^=

 

Admiral Janeway engaged the neural link within her shuttle, and engaged the holographic projector. She hadn't told the Captain about this part of her plan, she had to antagonise the Borg Queen in order to keep her occupied away from Voyager and get her focus purely on the Admiral so that she would want to be the one to assimilate the Admiral personally rather than sending one of her nearby cubes to do it. She had to push a few of the Queens buttons.

"Computer activate the holographic communications system" 

**Holographic system engaged**

"Have you missed me...

Have you been looking for the one that got away, the one Starfleet Admiral that has defeated you more times than your Collective mind can count" Janeway was speaking to no one and everyone at the same time, she knew the Borg Queen could hear her, knew that she would be using her Borg sensors to try to find her.

"It has been a while, old friend" Came the response, the one voice of the Queen, cold, unemotional. "Seems you have aged more than expected since we last met" 

"I have, but you have been expecting my younger self, however I have defeated you more times than her, we have a closer connection than you do with Captain Janeway" The Admiral mirrored the Queens cold voice, knowing it would get her talking

"So you have come back from the future to assist your naive younger self to get her crew home, and you expect to use our technology to accomplish this" The Borg Queen all but laughed at the Admiral

**Communication source located** the computer announced

The holographic image of Admiral Janeway shimmered in to existance within the Borg Queens chamber, the sensors sending what the hologram could see directly to the Admirals neural implant, the Queen and Admiral were effectively face to face... this was as close as the Admiral wanted to be to her, for now anyway. The longer she could keep the Queen talking like this, the more time she could borrow for Voyager to find the transwarp corridor home to the Alpha Quadrant.

"You have aged, Admiral" The Borg Queen smirked at her

"So have you, you are looking... less perfected than when I last saw you, your majesty" 

"Perfection is a goal that the Borg are always striving for" She looked the Admiral up and down "Unlike you small organic spieces, we are constantly evolving" 

"Perfection is a state of mind" 

"Perhaps" The Queen spoke softly, a smirk crossing her pale face.

The Admiral moved to stand closer to the middle of the room, the Queen eyed her intently

"You can't find her can you" The Admiral was on the attack now, bored of the small talk

"We will locate them, Captain Janeway cannot hide from us for long" 

"All this technology and you can't find me or them" The Admiral laughed

The Queen flicked her head to the large viewscreen above thier heads, it suddenly showed the Admirals shuttle, stationary under the very room they were currently occupying. 

"Very clever Admiral, hiding right under our noses"

"Computer deactivate comm link" 

The holographic Janeway disappeared from the Queens chamber, and the shuttle quickly powered back up, she was set to leave, as her hands touched the control panel in front of her she felt the all too familiar tingle of the Borg transporter. 

Before she could engage engines she found herself in the central algove of the Queens chamber, this time the Queen was taking no chances and immediately inserted her assimilation tubules in to the Admirals neck. She gasped at the pain... well this was the third time that she had experianced the nanoprobes flooding her system, trying to over right the basic biological levels of her body. 

It would be a while before the Queen could feel the Admirals conciousness, and with the suppressant in her system, it would be longer than the Queen anticipated, but the virus in her system would soon start to infect the Hive mind.

=^=

 

"The Admirals system has registered the assimilation process, her heart rate has increased. Her part of the plan is in motion" Chakotay had been monitoring the Admiral, keeping an eye out for the moment the plan for Voyager could start... this was it.

"OK Tom, take us in, Tuvok bring the new shields online and activate the armour plating. Harry, how are your new sensors operating?" The Captain turned to her Ops officer

"As we expected Captain, they are making it look like normal space inside that nebula, we should be able to see those Borg vessels coming" Harry smiled, proud of the work he and Seven had accomplished on the new sensors

"Excellent" Kathryn breathed in, held her breath to steady her nerves before she spoke "Let's do it"

Tom kicked the impulse drive on and took Voyager in to the Borg infested nebula

=^=

"Why did you come back to help her, Admiral" The Borg Queen asked, simply filling time before she could feel the Admiral in the Collective and she would have all the answers and knowledge she possessed anyway

"To get them home... and who could resist getting another one over you" The Admiral sneered, fighting to keep her control over the nanoprobes

"Hmm small minded goal, from a small being" The Queen seemed amused

"You still can't find my younger counterpart can you" 

"It is only a matter of time, we will locate her and her crew, we will assimilate them and this will of all been for nothing" 

"If you say so, your majesty" She could still find the strength to go against the Queen, it made her feel stronger just knowing that they couldn't find Voyager

Knowing that her younger counterpart was eluding the Queen for this amount of time was better than she had thought. Had she really forgotten how effectively her old crew worked together? How dedicated they were to her?

_Starship located, spacial referance 00254_ _, identification USS Voyager_ the collective voice spoke

Still it took them longer than the Admiral thought

 

=^= 

"We were just picked up by that last Borg cube Captain" Kim was uncertain of the reply he would get from her

"Well we knew it wouldn't be a long game of hide and seek Mr Kim, someone had to win, and they have more players than we do" She tried to sound light and airy about it, but inside her blood ran cold.

"Tuvok, lets make sure we disappear again from thier sensors, I want to get as close to the transwarp conduit as we can before we start a fire fight" 

Tuvok pressed a few keys on his console and Voyager disappeared from the Borg sensors again. 

"That should confuse them for a minute or so, but now they know we are here they will be looking even more for us now" The Captains voice was low, with an edge of the anger she was feeling for the Borg and what they must be putting her counterpart through

"How is the Admiral doing, Commander?" She turned to look at him

"She readings have stablised, and the neural supplessant seems to be working, other than that I can't tell you much Captain, other than she is strong and is fighting for us so the Queen will have quite a battle on her hands" He tried to keep it light, knowing that Kathryn was worrying, but that Captain Janeway was asking for an idea of timings

"Good, if anything changes I want to know straight away Commander, she knows more about this plan than anyone else on board ship. If the Queen learns about it all before we get inside that conduit this is all for nothing" 

=^=

 

_USS Voyager has been lost on sensors_

"Find them, they won't be far from thier last known position" The Queen was irriated that Voyager had eluded them, however Admiral Janeway, sunk on the floor of the algove, could do nothing more than laugh 

"See you under estimate my younger naive self. She is stronger than you think" 

The Queen made a move towards the Admiral, as if to strike her, but what would be the point in adding a damaged drone to her Collective? There wouldn't be one, that would go against perfection.

"A tempopary set back, easily remedied"

"If you say so" Chuckled the Admiral

She could almost hear the Queen grinding her teeth and getting even more irritable

_USS Voyager located in spacial grid 0255, thier technological and biological distinctiveness will be added to our own_

They were almost at the conduit, from here Captain Janeway was on her own, she had to get inside that corridor and fast

 

=^=

"They have detected us again Captain, but in a few more seconds we will be inside the corridor to the Alpha Quadrant" Harry had a hint of worry in his voice.

"Then lets get inside Tom" Captain Janeway didn't want to antagonise the Borg any more than she had to

"Captain, the virus has been released from the Admirals system, it could make the Borg even more dangerous as she loses control" Chakotay suddenly spoke, he had been quiet for so long it made Kathryn jump to hear his voice

 

=^=

"Why can't I hear them? The voices they are falling away, falling silent" 

"Must have been something you assimilated" The Admiral smirked, knowing she didn't have to fight for too much longer now the virus was inside the Central Plexus of the Queens own chamber, her control would quickly fall away over the rest of the Collective, chaos would soon follow.

 "What have you done!" The Queen screamed enraged

The Admiral smiled, her eyes gleamed at the loss of the Queens control over her emotions "Like I said, must have been something  _you_ assimilated" As she raised her eyebrow to make the point, the Queen swung back round to face the viewscreen above them

"There is still one vessel that can hear me, and one is all I need to destroy Voyager and you, if there is no Captain Janeway then no Admiral Janeway will ever exist, and this will all be erased" A cruel smile crossed her face 

"Are you sure about that, temporal mechanics always gave me a headache, is this the cause to your effect or the other way around?"

Admiral Janeway was fighting now to keep the Queen out of her head, although the connection to the majority of the Collective was severed if she got in to the Admirals head she would know what defenses Voyager had, and that was something she could not risk.

"I'm sending that cube to destroy her, destroy Captain Janeway, and therefore you" The Queen was determined

=^=

 

"Tuvok, I believe it is time to deploy the armour, that cube seems to be very intent on following us in to the corridor" Captain Janeway was watching the viewscreen as the huge Borg cube loomed in to view

Tuvok pressed the necessary keys on his console and the new armour plating spread over the entire outer hull of Voyager

"Armour deployed Captain" The Vulcan was a calm as ever. Kathryn knew he would be but still took strength from it, if her Vulcan friend ever lost control in front of her she knew they would really be in trouble.

"Lets see them try to destroy us now" Her voice was low with a threatening edge

Tom banked the starship to the left, manuvering out of the way of them swinging round

"Thier weapons are charging Captain" Tuvok stated

"Arm phasers and the new torpedoes" 

"Armed"

The Borg phasers fired, Voyager barely shook.

"Shields at 98% Captain, there is no damage to Voyager or the armour plating" Tuvok almost sounded suprised

"Good, I don't want to reveal the new weapons to them just yet so as long as they aren't actually doing us any damage we will stay on this course. Tom think you can get us in the that corridor home before they are on top of us?" She asked her helmsman

"It will take some of my fancy flying Captain but I will get us there" Tom replied, his trademark cheeky grin on his face, he enjoyed this kind of flying, it was what had made him want to be a pilot in the first place

"By all means Tom" The Captain knew he was good, in her opinion the best Starfleet had, and she knew he had extra insentive to get home, although they hadn't heard from Sickbay yet about the arrival of his daughter it surely wasn't far away, B'Lanna would be chopping at the bit to be involved in the fight to get home.

Voyager banked a sharp left then right to avoid two cubes crossing thier path

"I almost prefered it when they were being controlled by the Queen, least there was some pattern to thier movements then, this is just random, they are going to crash in to each other and cause themselves more damage than we ever could" Tom commented, tapping away at the helm to avoid the debris of what remained from a smaller Borg vessel that had just hit a larger cube

"Least we know the Admiral was successful Tom. Chakotay how is she, can we get her out of there?" The Captain was concerned, it had been too long that the Admiral had been in the Queen's company.

"She is almost at the end of the neural suppressant, and her heart rate is up so I suspect she is fighting against the assimilation process, but she is too far gone for us to be able to save her currently, and the shields around where she is being held are too strong, we can't break through them to get her out, I'm sorry Captain, there is nothing more we can do for her" He looked up and saw the flicker of sadness across Kathryn's face, her mask of Captain temporarily gone at the loss of her older self, he tried to show her how sorry he was with his face, but wasn't sure it was enough, however it did give her the strength to replace her mask

"Very well Commander, she knew this was most likely a one way trip, I will make a note in the ships log when we get home regarding her sacrifice for this crew" She spoke with more confidence than she had. She had hoped they could retrieve the Admiral and take her home too, but that wasn't to be, she would mourn her loss later, right now she had a promise to the crew to keep... she would get them home

"Approaching the entrance of the corridor, in 5...4...3...2...1... we are in the corridor Captain" Tom sounded relieved to be out of the main battle

"We have been followed by 1 Borg cube Captain, they are gaining on us at speed" Tuvok had been monitoring the persuing cube closely

"How are our shields holding up Commander" Chakotay asked, no longer being able to monitor the Admiral

"Shields are at 90%, the armour plating is still at 100%" Tuvok replied

"OK Tuvok, lets get rid of this cube" The Captain lowered the tone of her voice

"Captain, it would not be advisable to use phasers within a transwarp corridor" Seven chimed in "It may destablise the entire network" This gave the Captain an idea, why only take down one corridor when you could take down the whole network... Chakotay could see the idea forming in her mind. 

"Whats the plan Captain?" He asked

"I'm not quite sure yet, but we are going to need some more of those skills of yours Mr Paris, if you haven't had too much fun avoiding cubes and debris?" She smiled, knowing she could count on him

"You know me Captain, always up for showing off my skills" He grinned childishly

"Right, I want you to drop back and get behind that cube then Mr Paris, as close to their hull as possible without being detected, I want them to think we have disappeared" She placed a hand on his shoulder as she explained.

"Then, Tuvok, I want you to use those new torpedoes and blow up that damn cube, hopefully the armour and new shields will protect us well enough, Tom you are then going to ride the shockwaves from the explosion all the way to the Alpha Quadrant... how does that sound?" 

"You know me and my love of surfing Captain. It's going to be a bumpy ride but I am sure we have had worse before" He focused on the console and dropped them in behind the cube, only a few 100 metres from thier hull "I don't want to get us much closer Captain those new torpedoes of Tuvok's pack quite a punch, and I am assuming we want to get home in 1 piece, not a few 100!" 

"You got that right Tom" She said patting his shoulder before returning to her chair.

"Tuvok, your up" With that the Vulcan fired a single new torpedo at the cube, dead centre, it peeled through the outer hull like a hot knife through butter, the green flames following the destruction the torpedo was causing as it sliced through the internal cube before exploding, the cube seemed to breath in before its final explosion out

"Tom! Lets ride those waves home" She ordered, her pilot one step ahead of her and already plotting the cause in for the biggest shockwave

"Captain, we are nearing the outer edge of the corridor, it is collaping behind us, I am also reading that the connecting corridors are closing down also" Seven spoke. If the Captain didn't know any better she would have said her Borg crewman was happy about it

"We will be out of the corridor in 3...2...1!" Tom counted down as they finally cleared the fire around them from the cube explosion and we thrown in to normal space

"Harry, where are we?" She asked nervously

"Right where we expected to be Captain" He answered

The Captain looked at the clearing viewscreen, ahead of them were 100's of ships, all familiar, and a sight she never thought she would see.

The entire Federation fleet was there, all with thier shields up and weapons ready to fire, she didn't care, it was the greatest sight she thought she had ever seen.

"Captain we are being hailed" Called Tuvok, pulling her eyes momentarily away from the screen

"On Screen" 

Admiral Paris, Tom's father and her mentor, appeared on the screen

"That was quite an entrance you made Kathryn" He smiled, warmly

"Sorry, I guess we should have called ahead first Admiral" Her voice shook, there were tears threatening to fall from her eyes

"No problem, looks like you have had quite the journey"

"It will be in my report Sir" 

The Admiral simply nodded, and then looked at his son "It's good to have you home Tom" his voice choking

"Good to be back...Dad" The helmsman was unsure what to say to his father, thier relationship had always been rocky, but perhaps after 7 years and 70 000 000 light years between them it could be repaired.

"Admiral Paris out" the viewscreen changed back to the view of the welcome party Voyager seemed to have recieved

_Sickbay to Lt Paris, I believe there is someone who wants to meet her father_

Tom smiled hearing his baby daughter crying over the comm

"You had better get down there Tom" Kathryn let a tear fall as she smiled broadly at him

He nodded, and almost ran to the turbolift to get to his wife and daughter, to tell them they had made it home, they were back in the Alpha Quadrant

Kathryn returned to her chair, and rested her hand over the arm nearest Chakotay, he took her hand and squeezed it as and ensign took Tom's vacant seat at the helm.

"You did it Kathryn" Chakotay whispered to her

"No Chakotay,  _we_ did it" She smiled at him "And now I owe you dinner"

He grinned, she had promised him more than just dinner, but that was a good place to start, he resisted the urge to lean over the console between them and kiss her. He didn't need to resist, she did it for him, before turning to the helm

"Set a course... for home"


	9. Reports, Debriefings and Hearings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Voyager has finally made it home, what is next for her Command team?

Voyager had been home for almost 8 months, in those 8 months Kathryn Janeway thought she had hardly had time to think about being home, let alone actually enjoy it.

The top brass at Starfleet Headquarters had put her through months of meetings, report and debriefings, they had gone through every detail of every away mission, stop over, fire fight, log entry made in the last 7 years. Kathryn was glad she had been such a perfectionist about her log entries and reports for Star fleet since the Caretaker had pulled them away to the Delta Quadrant, something which she had obviously instilled in her crew as thier reports were up to standard at the very least.

There had been the 2 additional crews to deal with, the Marquis crew, which Kathryn had always considered hers anyway, and the remaining 5 crewman from the Equinnox that was also lost in the Delta Quadrant. Well at least that was another ships fate that she could help close the book on.

The marquis had all be allowed to keep the ranks that she had given them, and if they wanted to remain within Starfleet they would be allowed to do so, since the Marquis fight was effectively over now since the war with the Dominion had been raging and had all but wiped them out, many of them had decided to stay within Starfleet, however many of them had said they would only do so if they were allowed to stay on Voyager with either herself or Commander Chakotay in command. She had been touched by thier loyalty to her, after all it had been a difficult transition for them to make and she valued many of them as friends now too.

As for the Equinnox 5, things were not so good. As Starfleet considered what they had done under the command of Captain Ransom as effectively murder, they were to stand trial after being stripped of rank and dishonourably discharged from the service. Kathryn had fought for them as hard as she had the Marquis crew, however it was in vain, Starfleet had already made thier ruling. 

Kathryn stepped out of her final meeting, when Starfleet had decided that they would honour all field promotions that had been given during thier time in the Delta Quadrant, at least that was one good meeting at last.  She ran her fingers round the collar of her tunic, feeling it was almost too tight against her skin. 

There would be a ceremony next month for all those who would be getting promotions, formally, from Starfleet. She was to be made an Admiral, and Chakotay would become Captain, if he wanted it. She felt she had hardly seen him since they got back, what with Starfleets demands on her and him trying to ensure that the crew were settling back in to life on Earth again. For many of them it had been a strange welcome back.

Kathryn walked back to the transporter station, enjoying the feeling of the sun on her skin, she was still getting used to weather and fresh air rather than the recycled air on Voyager.

After a brief walk from the transporter station she arrived at her quarters that had been given to her upon thier return.

"Computer, open a comm link to Commander Chakotay" 

_Channel open_

"Hello Kathryn" His warm voice melted away the stresses of the day

"Hi" She smiled "I just needed to hear your voice, see you" 

"Bad day at the office dear" He joked

"You could say that" She sighed "But I did have one good meeting, there is to be a ceremony next month for those of us getting promotions, including you and me" She raised an eyebrow, making Chakotay laugh

"You look like Tuvok when you do that. Speaking of, have you heard from him. How is his treatment on Vulcan going?"

"Well from what little he tells me. You know Tuvok, private to the last" She rolled her eyes, although Tuvok was one of her greatest friends, getting information from him was like getting blood from a stone.

"Is there any chance we can get together for dinner this week, it has been a long time since we have seen each other in person Kathryn" Chakotay was using his charm to distract her, and it was working

"That would be good, I'm free tomorrow evening if you are. Should be available from 1900 all going smoothly" 

"OK, how about 2000 at yours, I will cook, I'm guessing you aren't making friends with your new replicator anymore than you did with the one on Voyager?" He laughed, the sound made her smile broadly

"I swear they team up against me. Your cooking certainly sounds more appealing than a burnt offering from the replicator or something from the canteen at Headquarters. You know the door code here so you can let yourself in?" She asked

"I do. I'll see you when you get home tomorrow Kathryn, Chakotay out" The screen went back to the Federation insignia, Kathryn touched the screen that had shown his image a moment ago and sighed, one more day to get though and she would get to see him. He was right it had been a long time, possibly even a month since they had any time in each others company what with one thing or another. Her stomach flipped with the promise of dinner.

She moved to her bedroom, and removed her jacket, she decided on a bath to help her relax, moving though to the bathroom she turned on the taps, it had been a long day after all, not that it mattered there was plenty of water, she could have multiple baths a day and it wouldn't matter, it would take some getting used to, not having to think about water or replicator rations for a while.

Stripping out of her uniform she slid in to the bath, letting the hot water ease away the aches in her muscles and sooth the headache that was threatening to cripple her. She sighed. 

Being home was everything she wanted, and she was glad that the Marquis would not face any punishment, or Tom Paris, they had considered his time on Voyager and his service as time served from the prision colony in New Zealand, he was able to live with his wife and daughter, whom they had named Mirral Kathryn, after B'Lanna's mother and herself, which had flattered Kathryn greatly, she was also the apple of Admiral Paris's eye, he was a doting loving Grandfather and he and Tom had patched up thier differences.

Kathryn let her mind wander, she didn't want to think about anything in particular, she knew she would need a good night sleep, especially with seeing Chakotay tomorrow, she hoped we wouldn't be getting much sleep tomorrow.

=^= 

"Well Captain Janeway, you certainly went above and beyond. You got more of your crew home than even the best Captain's in Starfleet would have expected you to." Admiral Paris was proud of his protegee, and wasn't shy about telling her so

"Thank you Admiral, it means alot coming from you" She smiled at him

"And on a personal note, thank you for keeping an eye on Tom, and molding him in to a fine young man. Thank you for bringing him home too Kathryn" The older man took her arm and squeezed it

"He was a fine young man before, just needed his potential realised, and encouraged" Kathryn nudged the Admiral "And he is one heck of a pilot, which I believe the credits to your tutoring Admiral" 

"Hmm perhaps"

They walked in silence for a while, arm in arm, before the reached the doors of the last meeting that Captain Janeway had to face, the one about thier final meeting with the Borg and how exactly they had got hold of the advanced technology that ultimately helped bring them home. Kathryn was dreading having to explain Admiral Janeway's envolvement, and how to face her loss, she still wasn't sure how she felt about it all. Releasing Admiral Paris's arm she took a deep breath and steped through the doors.

=^=

4 hours later, completely exhausted from having to explain everything several times and answer the same questions, worded differently to trip her up, Kathryn Janeway emerged from the conferance room. She took a few steps away until she was out of sight of the Admirals who would soon be leaving the same room, and leant against the wall, trying to steady herself. 

It had been a tougher meeting than she anticipated. The Admiral's had grilled her. How could she justify using stolen technology, and Federation technology at that, from the future? How could she use the information her older self had given her when it clearly broke the temporal prime directive? It still gave her a headache trying to think about it all. 

She hadn't told them about the personal information Admiral Janeway had given herself and certain other member of her crew, she didn't want to complicate things further. Captain Janeway had simply stuck to what Admiral Janeway had told them about the amount of additional crew members they would lose, the damage to Voyager. The Admirals that had actually been Captain's with crews loyal to them and they loyal to their crew understood, however those who had become Admirals through other paths questioned her further. Eventually Admiral Paris had stepped in and called a halt to the meeting as he felt that all questions had been answered, all avenues explored. The overall feeling was that had they been in Captain Janeway's shoes they would have done the same, and damn the consequences that Starfleet would give them. Which after this meeting they agreed would be none.

She had risked everything, bet on Starfleet being more concerned with the crew and ship being home, the damage to the Borg as a result of the new technology and won. Starfleet were happy enough with her allowing them to take the modifications made to Voyager by Admiral Janeway and working on them to make them available for the rest of the fleet as soon as possible, seeing that the Borg couldn't penetrate the shield and armour they hoped that the Dominion and other enemies would have the same issues. Ultimately it was ruled that it would save more lives now than it would punishing Captain Janeway and the crew of Voyager. 

After a few minutes Kathryn felt better, she was able to stand and walk out of Starfleet Headquarters with her head held high. The Captain who had got Voyager home.

Now it was time to enjoy the shoreleave that she and the rest of the crew had been given as Voyager herself was being stripped of the modifications and refit, after all 7 years is a long time in a starships life, and with what the ship had been through she was in need of some TLC, much like the crew that called her home.

Kathryn arrived at her quarters a little after 1900 hours, as she opened the doors she was greeted by the smell of cooking, something she had missed from her weekly dinners with Chakotay, as well as the man himself.

"Hello" She called out

"Hi" came a voice from the kitchen area of her quarters "Would you like a drink, dinner isn't ready yet" Chakotay popped his head around the doorway, smiling at her. She walked over to him and kissed him lightly on the lips, barely brushing them but enough to reawaken the memory of his skin.

"I would love a drink, but I need to change out of this uniform first" She leaned her forehead against his

"You know you have time for a bath if you need one to unwind" He knew her so well, she breathed him in

"You read my mind... but this bathtub isn't big enough for two" 

"I wasn't going to join you just yet, someone has to keep an eye on dinner after all"

She laughed, both of them knew how good her cooking was.

"OK, you cook, I'll soak" She kissed him again and turned towards the bathroom

"I will bring you a glass of wine though if you like" 

Kathryn nodded, he really did know her too well.

She slid in to the hot water, the familiar scent of Jasmine and Lavander swirled around her, easing the stress away. She closed her eyes, only to open them again when a cold drip of water hit her shoulder, she looked up in to his warm dark brown eyes and smiled

"Here, one glass of wine for a very over worked Kathryn" Chakotay settled next to the tub and gave her the glass. He was about to get up again but her hand found his face, her thumb tracing the inky lines of the tattoo above his left eye, he moved his hand in to her palm, realising how much he had missed her touch in these intimate moments. He realised that he had been stuck waiting for them, pinning for her. He knew it wasn't her fault and that she had missed and needed him too, but her commitment to Voyager and Starfleet had kept her busy in the 8 months they had been back. Most of the crew were free to leave after only a month, the senior staff after 4 and he himself after 5 months, they had kept her for longer as it was on her shoulders, the whole thing from the moment Voyager left DS9 to the moment they appeared in a blaze of Borg Cube explosion in the Alpha Quadrant 7 years later. They had grilled her, questionned her about every order, every choice she had made, as if she hadn't questionned herself every step of the way, Chakotay shuddered as he remembered her in the Void, and how lost she had been then. Starfleet had nothing on the Void he thought to himself, it made him smile against her palm.

"What are you thinking Chakotay?" She whispered

"Oh just that Starfleet command has nothing on the Void and Delta Quadrant" He looked at her "Nothing on Kathryn Janeway" 

She laughed that sexy silky laugh of hers, the one he loved hearing "You know what, your right. We have gotten through worse than months of meetings with Starfleet Admirals" 

"You will be one of those Admirals soon Kathryn" He reminded her

"Hmm I suppose" 

"I had better get back to dinner, it smells like it is nearly ready" He stood up "I can put it on the side so you can soak a little longer if you like"

"Thank you, I will only be a moment, dinner smells wonderful Chakotay" 

A few minutes later Kathryn felt more restored to her usual self, dressed in a light linen dress she sat down at the table, Chakotay taking the seat opposite her, same as they had many evenings on Voyager.

Dinner was a simple Vegetable lasagne style dish, something warming and homely, exactly what Kathryn needed. 

They ate quietly for a few moments, simply enjoying each others company again.

"So... do you want to tell me about today?" Chakotay asked

"Oh it was nothing really, just having to explain the way we made it home, trying to explain using the technology from the future, the temporal prime directive"

"And that always gives you a headache Kathryn" He smiled at her, they had discussed many times her avoidance of the subject, it was something she did at all costs.

"Exactly" she smiled weakly "I had to try and explain the Admiral's sacrifice, which was difficult, she only gave me limited information about the modifications she and her EMH had made to the virus so I couldn't answer half the questions they had about that. Then there was trying to figure out how I felt about knowing that my older self had broken the orders of Starfleet to such a degree she would have been dismissed from Starfleet if she had made it home, as it is I have given her a commendation in my report for her actions as the ulitmately got us home... which I am sure you can imagine thrilled them" She rolled her eyes again at the memory of the comments made by the collection of Admirals "But we got there in the end, to say it was gruelling, is an understatement...and not something I ever want to repeat Chakotay" She reached out her hand for his across the table, he took it, lightly running his thumb over her knuckles 

"The only thing that kept me going was seeing you this evening" Her voice was deep and husky "I have missed you Chakotay"

"I have missed you too Kathryn" He smiled

"Do you think we will be able to come out of hiding soon Kathryn, I hate all this sneeking around, the crew all know we are together at last, most of them were more annoyed at losing the betting pool Tom set up than us being... well us at last" Chakotay had found it funny that there was a larger betting pool on he and Kathryn finally giving in and admitting thier feelings for each other compared to Kathryn actually getting them home. It was heart warming that the crew had more faith in her command and leadership rather than in her personal life.

"I hope not Chakotay, soon we won't be part of the same command chain so we could come out of hiding, have we actually decided what... this is? After all didn't we make promises to each other that once we were together that we would remain together?" Kathryn was determined never to lose him like Admiral Janeway had lost her Chakotay. They had each other now and that was all the mattered to her.

"That is true, although what do Starfleet rules say about this?" His other hand came on to the table holding a small black box, he slid it across the table towards her

"Chakotay" She breathed, her voice tinged with a little shock "What is this?"

"Open it Kathryn" He smiled, she knew what it was but didn't want to admit it to herself just yet

She opened the box, inside was a simple white gold band with a single diamond set in to it.

"Its been in my family for generations, it was one of the only things that was recovered after the Cardassians destroyed my families home" Sadness flitted across his face at the memory of his lost family "My mother always wanted me to give it to someone who captured my heart and calmed the war raging inside me" He looked at her, her pale blue eyes filling with tears. "7 years ago I beamed aboard the Bridge of Voyager, expecting to easily take over and run this new starship as a Marquis ship, instead I was faced with this strong formidable starfleet Captain, who revealed that a member of my own crew was actually hers and and enemy of mine at her side. You never let me back down from who I was Kathryn, you never let me beat myself up over the little things. You gave me a place at your side, and in doing so, you saved me, saved me from myself and gave me a purpose. Something I hope I have been able to do for you as well over the past 7 years. You helped me quieten the raging war inside of me, gave an angry warrior a home, a place at your side. I want to remain there for the rest of my life... if you will have me?"

Kathryn's eyes filled with tears as her heart filled with love for the man sitting opposite her, the man she had been sent to capture and drag back kicking and screaming if necessary to face trial, who had ended up capturing her heart instead, he had kept his promise to her and remained at her side, even when they disagreed on the best course of action or the next step, he was still there, even when she pushed him away time and time again, he was there, he always came back to her side. She couldn't imagine getting through the Delta Quadrant without him, now she couldn't imagine the rest of her life without him.

"Of course I will have you Chakotay, will you have me?" Kathryn was pretty much asking him to accept her for all her flaws too

His face broke out in a smile that lightened his whole face "I can't wait for the rest of our lives Kathryn. Will starfleet accept it. I will give up my commision if they won't I have always been happier teaching anyway"

"No I don't think they will have an issue" He removed the ring from the cushioning inside the box and placed it on her ring finger. "I promised to be by your side till we got home, now I am promising to be by your side til my dying breath" They smiled at each other, realising that they were finally home, and finally together... Promises fulfilled.


End file.
